This One's For Me

I don't know what has happened to me lately but I have an inability to stick with a decision. I have an ability to change my mind on a dime and just blow with the damn wind. It's a horrible feeling to a girl who has lived her life by the plan and the big plan and the grand plan. I change plans and ideas and such more times then my mother has changed her hairstyle.

And this latest flip flop I am directly blaming on Foster One (Mike Foster) because I do not want to own the responsibility of being a quack, waffle or indecisive. I will put that on him :-)

Yesterday at the Pittsford Triathlon something quite interesting happened for me. It was Mike Foster's bad day. I can't stress to you enough that if Foster was in shape right now, didn't succumb to food poisoning, or run the corporate challenge or is in the midst of writing his thesis (and we want him to place the focus on the thesis as he will be working in DC on some projects.... but we can't talk about that..... we need this man's brain...) he'd not only have lapped me on the swim, bike and run but he'd have smashed his own course record. So I need that to be crystal clear.

But when I passed him on the run I never expected him to hang with me. I have never run with anyone like that in a race, sitting on my shoulder so close that I could hear their breathing... .. in any race I have ever done I have either pulled away or I have surrendered. Yesterday however this was my friend and I wanted him not to give up. At the same time I wanted to see if I could run with him there.

Could we help each other?

I think that we did. During our run I thought abut a lot of stuff..... I tried feeding myself and Mike positive vibes. I tried to send him ESP messages to stay together, work together. After not too long I felt like we were in a pattern, and it became almost like a dance.

I also realized this would likely be the one and only time I got to share this experience with my friend. Mike and Erika are leaving next month. For some reason I thought they were leaving in October. Well, that was my own little form of denial. Since the day I met them I denied that they were leaving.

So while we were running I closed my eyes and I smiled. What a great experience to share with a friend. A race, a run, a pace.

And when there was 1/4 mile left Mike prodded me to kick it in. I told him I didn't have an extra gear. But suddenly I somehow found it. And then came 15 seconds that stunned me. I ran harder or faster than ever in my life. It was just 15 seconds. But I never looked for that before. I always conceded that I didn't have it.

But I did. And Mike helped me see that.

So I went to bed with that feeling of confidence. With that feeling of believing in my run again.

And I had that sinking feeling that I'd be missing out on a great time this weekend if I skipped Eagleman. The whole experience, not just the 70.3 miles.

So I caused my husband's head to begin to spin (again) when I walked into the house with my newest and latest proposal.

"What if I just go and do Eagleman?" Oatmeal flew across the room.

"Oh my God!" He cried... "Bill got to you!" Bill and Sharon have been taunting me with Egleman tales.

"No..." I promised him..... and I told him of my fear. "I will just do a normal training week, use it as part of my build, practice my nutrition, my carbo load, spend time with friends..... and have fun?" He shook his head but I knew he understood.

"Go." He smiled, still shaking his head. "You do need to go."

What would I do without this man who so completely understands me. I think to understand this, you need to understand how cool this race is. Kevin, Kitima, , Sharon and Bill will be there. My friend Jen from Chicago and her hubby will be there. Dirk will be there.

I conferred with Jen Harrison and she told me to throw the sanity out the window (I did that a long time ago Jen...) and to come and have some fun.

So I made some calls, I arranged Granny, and I jumped on my bike in the rain. And I thought abut Eagleman (And the fact that Brian Rhodes is racing..... oooooo....) and cycling through the Wildlife Refuge.... and swimming in the Bay..... and going to the pro athlete Q&A..... and the teammates that are going......

And I said screw it. I will go. I will still ride long but I will cut my long run back. I will go... for me. To treat myself. No expectations, no goals. Nutrition and pacing practice and to freaking celebrate. I love to train and I love to race so let's go have a freaking party doing it. Whatever the finishing time is.... it is. Pressure is off. Fun is on.

Because that's what this is really about isn't it? Fun? I need a good long training day. I want to spend it with friends. So I am doing my normal week, long ride, just a shorter run, and I am throwing caution into the wind.

I hope I don't have another top 10 bike split. I hope my husband's friend finally out bikes me. This day is for me, this party is for me. An opportunity to do what I absolutely love to do.....

Race. Fast or slow I will be there on Sunday and I will have the biggest smile.

Thanks for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers