What If

I am rendering my decision on Ironman Florida just 3 days after Ironman Lake Placid.

I am in.

I thought a lot about it through the past 3 days and I know what I am afraid of. In Lake Placid I am fortunate to enjoy so much crowd support. I know that in Florida Curt, Luc, Jennifer, Tony and Andy will be the only people I know.

The thought of going so far virtually alone is downright frightening to me. But then I thought ...
what if....

What if I can go to the brink again like I did on Sunday.

What if I can in fact go to the brink and come back... alone.

What is I can break eleven hours.

What if I don't?

What if I prepared myself to be on that course alone all day. With no ascents or descents to rest.

What if I prepared myself to withstand the heat.

What if I gave myself the chance to succeed.

What if I gave myself the chance to fail.

What if I just.... believed?

I will do all of that. And I will train alone. I will ride and run .... alone. I will prepare myself for 11 hours of solitude. I will find that place deep within me that wants it bad enough. I will get used to solitude. I will grasp the fact that when I get on my bike I will not see civilization or a hill for a good 5 and a half hours. And I will go to the brink again if I have to.

Until you are really pulled apart like an Ironman will pull you.... you are not truly sure what you are made of. Disclaimer; remember we each have our own thing. For me it is the Ironman. For you, perhaps something different.

I know on November 4th the cheering crowds I get to enjoy at Lake Placid will not exist. My hometown friends will be watching via the Internet. I will just have to tune in within myself to hear them scream.

I am no longer afraid. I am willing to take the chance. Because just maybe, maybe I can nail it.

:-) Mary Eggers