The Potentials

People keep asking me if I am nervous. Which is then making me nervous because I am not. Should I be nervous? Maybe I should. I can't think of anything to be nervous about. I can however find a lot to be excited about. The first being getting my silver bracelet on Wednesday. Running into Graham Fraser in the Ironman Store like I always do (no matter where I am....). The starting line with 2400 people. Ironman's awesome. It's just an awesome extravaganza.

I don't get caught up in the "what if" scenarios. There is a lot you can control on race day, and a lot you can't control on race day.

Here are the potentials;

What happens if I flat? I have a spare, so I change it and / or wait for tech support. Stretch my legs, pee and cheer everyone on.

What if I crash? Then I duct tape myself back together and get back on my bike. Or I ride the ambulance to the other finish line :-)

What if I lose my nutrition? I will take from the course.

What if I feel sick? I will slow down.

What if my Power Meter or Garmin die? I go without.

The above are things I can't control too well. Things happen out there. What I can control is my reaction to them. I will roll with the punches and make sure I laugh through it all. Why get upset? What good does that do? It just burns another Ironman match.

My race plan is set. My bike is still not packed ;-) and I have a few workouts left to do. Most importantly I have a 6 year old boy who is dreaming about his first airplane ride. Stories of late have been about what it is like to fly through a cloud. What it looks like on top of those clouds. What the ocean is like and how big is it?

When you can see the world through the eyes of a child you start to lose the clutter. Like what could go wrong. Children are like that, they naturally look at possibility rather than look at the potentials for disaster.

How did we lose that in ourselves? When did that excitement for life become replaced with cynicism, dread, and anxiety?

It's something I have been working for a while to lose myself.

When I step up to the line at an Ironman, or any race for that matter, I see possibility. The promise of a new day.

Don't be afraid to dream, or reach because of what might happen. I think we sometimes become so self protective that you don't allow yourself the chance to dream just because of the possibility of disappointment.

I tell you this friends.... if I bomb Ironman Florida... I bomb it. If I nail it... I nail it. I will live to see another day. I will live to see another starting line and my little boy and my husband will still love me.

More important than that though... is that I will absolutely be able to look at the woman in the mirror with love and respect. Care and grace. I will look her in the eye as I always do and know that what matters most is not what other people think of me based on a race, a number, a score......

But what is in my heart and in my soul. That's the key to everything.

Time for some packing and getting Gu off my frame. And settling down a wide eyed 6 year old who wakes up every morning wondering..... if today is the day.

Not yet my little buddy..... but soon.

Thank you for stopping by.

:-) mary