The Fork In My Road

Something terrible has happened. And I never expected it to. I may have fallen back in love with being a nurse.

As you know I am a pediatric emergency nurse ... very... very... part time. Not too long ago I had set out to change careers. In January of 2009 I would quit the nursing profession and embark on the Education Pathway. Teaching, of course. I can change the world!!!!! My chosen career has left me burned out (at four hours a week???) and dreading the medical world altogether.

And then last Tuesday night happened. Burn Boy rolled in. He was the age of 7, and he spilled chicken soup on his lap. His thighs had 2nd degree burns and suddenly.... my passion flourished. I used to work in the Pediatric Intermediate Care Unit, and burns were our specialty. At that time a new Doctor came aboard and changed the way we care for burns.

Dr. Christopher Lentz and his wife Dixie Ried, PA, reinvented burn care for children in Rochester. Gone were the painful burn scrubbing sessions. Along came new dressings, new treatments, conscious sedations.

I fell in love with burn care because it was something I could look at, get my hands on, not theorize about. It wasn't white blood cell counts or transplant failures... it was right in front of me. Day by day I could see the healing, day by day I could do so much.

So on Tuesday when Burn Boy came in there was something I could do and start without the blessing of anyone else. I could medicate, dress, begin IV fluids, begin the healing process, and the family was wonderful. They asked great and appropriate questions. They listened, they were supportive. Mom felt so horrible, and it wasn't her fault.

For the first time in so very long I felt like I was a nurse again. And I realized that I had become the product of my environment.

Why do I stay in the Peds ED? Because I have control over my schedule and I love my colleagues. I have the best colleagues ever. Form a former ARMY nurse who served in Vietnam.... to new grads.... we have an amazing group.

A kid once came in with one arm and my friend Amy and I together infused blood and kept him stable until we arrived to the OR's door (his arm was reattached).

This is a team that watches out for one another.

As I left the hospital on Tuesday night I remembered that I don't have to work in the Peds Ed forever. I don't have to deal with shootings and Medicaid and abusive people. I am there because I choose to be.

Which led me to realize that I am back at the fork in the road. Leave Nursing completely? Trade it in for the headaches of the educational system? Or Pursue my Masters and as a Nurse Practitioner ... search for something I love.

Practice Therapeutic Yoga as an NP.... or as an Educator......

I will now have to say I don't know what to do. Except to stop thinking about it. For now I shall again postpone decisions until next September. I will allow the semester to come as it does, I will keep my eyes open for opportunities. In the meantime I will continue to be the best coach I can be, the best yoga teacher I can be, the best nurse I can be.... the best me I can be.

Thing always happen for a reason and I really learned one thing on Tuesday night....
I ain't over yet.
:-) Mary