Home Is Where The Heart Is

My Father always told me that I should be able to live in a cardboard box and be just as happy as I would be if I were living in a mansion. Later on I did understand that. Happiness is a choice. And things are truly what you make of them.

It's funny these life lessons I keep learning. My father also always told me the grass was greener on the other side. Take when I went to college for example. I went to Long Island which met my criteria for a school that was 6+ hours from home.

I landed right back in Buffalo.

Take my little stint in California. Laguna Beach.

I landed right back in Buffalo.

So when Curt was transferred to Rochester I laughed as I looked at where my sister and brother ended up; Paris and Georgia. And here I was. the one who strayed the furthest ended up the closest.

But it means things like Luc knowing his Grandparents more than 2 times per year. It means never having to stay at my parent's house for a week. It means I talk to my father at 12:45 nearly every single day and the phone bill is easy. It's things like that that sit with me deeply.

I looked to change careers. I applied and was accepted into 2 Masters programs for education. I began to drift and I began to wander. Then something very strange changed. And it was me who changed. It was an 11 year old girl with cancer who was in Peds ED a few months ago. No one could access her port, we needed a line and the nurses one by one tried and were unable to get IV access.

That means she was poked and poked and poked.

I went in. She was crying. Her parents were exhausted. I looked in this girl's eye and I told her we were going to get this line. This was the last poke. And if I didn't get it in 15 seconds I was out.

So she agreed. And we agreed to sing a song together. "You are my sunshine". This girl and I sang together and before the song was done I was in, labs were drawn and the ugliness had ended. And it was nothing special that I did. It was just luck. Every nurse in Peds ED is a rock star at IV's. Every single one.

So I sat with her for a bit after that, as she was asking me questions. Sometimes these cancer kiddos rooms are great places to be. The door was closed and in chaos it was quiet. As nurses we know when there is time to sit and talk. We talked about being a nurse. I told her I was thinking of changing careers. She told me not to.

"Who would get my IV if you were not a nurse? Who would sit and talk to me if you weren't a nurse?" She was convincing. "Please don't quit.... it is too important to kids like me."

I wanted to say..... someone else would take my place. There's always someone else. But I didn't. She got me thinking.

So I have decided on which Masters Program to accept an acceptance to. It will be Nursing. It will be NP. And I have a local university friend pulling me to not only pursue that but also consider Nursing Education as well. Hmmmmmmm......

In addition today I had a very cool experience and I was given a large choice to make. I take three days to make a major decision and it would not impact the remainder of my life, the business, training. In fact it might have made things a little easier.

As I sit here tonight weighing the pros and the cons..... thinking through options and possibilities.... I can't help but remember how each time I stay away from home, I see the value in home. Now I am not talking about home as in my family or where I live, I am talking in terms of career.

As today is day two, I know where my decision is beginning to lead. I just need some training time to think on it. And 2 more conversations with my father.