From The Heart

I had to tell one of my athletes this morning that she needs to turn off her head and begin to come from her heart. I don't know if that advice was for her as much as it was for me, but it was something we both needed today.

I had my bike test today, my last one was January 9th. That one awarded me a good raise and I was feeling great this morning. After a good swim practice I cleared the house and got myself ready. I was feeling psyched.

My iPod was loaded with motivating tunes (I still can't hear hours later), my Ergomo was calibrated twice, and I was feeling good. I took a few pieces of tape and I taped up Mister Ergomo, so that I would not see watts or heart rate, just elapsed time.

Today I was riding from my heart. And that I did.

I rode and I rode like a woman possessed. I dug deep into my heart and I thought of the goal finishing time I have for myself at Ironman lake Placid this year. I thought about nothing else but that number.

And I stared at a crack in the wall. I don't think my eyes moved off of it.

When it started to hurt I pushed harder. This was the effort I should have put forth at Camp HTFU..... but then again..... maybe it wasn't.

It all came down to this.

I definitely threw up in my mouth.

When it was done I cooled down, removed the tape and downloaded the results. I wiped my eyes. What did that say? I highlighted the test again, and again, and then again.

I just earned a twenty one watt raise.

I was calibrated and I was calibrated correctly.


An email form my athlete came through. She asked me to define how to come from the heart. I smiled. I knew she would ask me that. I told her this:

"It can't be defined. It's a feeling you have in your heart...... I know that in your Spinning you have been able to find it, that feeling like you are riding like a woman possessed, like there is no end .... like anything put in front of you , you can ride right through. That place where there is no thinking, no analyzing, no questions, just you and the bike and that feeling in your heart. How do you find it? Let go."

I swear to you that the moment I jump off of something is the exact moment I will touch down. Today that's what happened for me.

And as victorious as it felt, it means nothing, unless I do something with it. It's all great to be a champion in your garage to the sound of your iPod. Unless I can use this fitness in a race it doesn't matter what kinds of watts I generate here.

And that, is where I learn to move from my heart, and not my head. And I learn to put it together correctly, like I did before I got stuck in my head. Stuck on numbers and just plain self.

This is about letting go. Letting go of the fear of failing, embracing the life of taking the chance, and giving Ironman Lake Placid my best ever shot. I want this fifth Ironman of mine to be the finale... for a little bit. What it will take are days like today. A lot of them strung together. Add into that an ability to let go on the day that it matters most.... and the rest will be history.