Not Okay
Hi everyone.... thanks so much for the many emails, texts and phone calls. I am not okay. I am not okay at all. I am not sure if it is my head or my heart but I feel like I have been shattered into a million tiny pieces.
I left this bike course in an Ambulance, unable to recall my race number, spell the word world backwards, to touch my finger to my nose without difficulty. I have a concussion and a broken heart and I don't know what hurts worse.
I'll send out the details later Monday.
I was ready for this race. More prepared than I have ever been. A DNF right now is completely devastating to me. I am shattered. Absolutely shattered.
In better news my entire team finished. Sarah pr'd with an 11:53 and took 3rd in her age group. Ed did amazing. Everyone persevered on a day that brought torrential downpours. I am so proud of my team.
Even though what happened today was beyond my control I am not proud of myself.
Thank you so much for all of your kind words.
21 comments:
Oh Mary.. I can feel your disappointment.
Heal your noggin', your health is most important. We'll all help you deal with the heartache once we get that brain of yours healthy. Hang in there.
Rach
Mary I am so sorry to hear that you did not finish, as I checked all day to see your results! Dammit, sometimes $hit happens and its out of our control. It ain't over. You still have to get to that date with the hotty known as Ironman. It'll happen. Patience, Cheers and Prayers:) Keep your head up!
Hi Mary,
It's Donna, Marits friend from pensacola. I had a couple other friends in the race today and along with them, I kept track of you on Ironmanlive. I noticed that your time had stopped and kept checking and checking all day. I'm so glad you posted, and my heart goes out to you. I don't know any details, but PLEASE, if there is ANYTHING i can do (other than care SO much) let me know. Your 'sunshine' was so apparent and SO utterly inspirational to me at Gulf Coast, and I will be thinking about you lots and lots. With a lot of love, care and concern (and i still think you are absolutely amazing, concussed or not), Donna 850-748-8758, ldonna808@hotmail.com
Mary - I'm so sorry! I know how much this race means to you. I have been there - being carted away in an ambulance with a concussion and worse. I know how scary and painful it is. Hang in there!!! Just take care of yourself and let your family take care of you. Live to fight another day.
I'm so sorry Mary. I don't know what happened out there but there is nothing for you to be ashamed about. You had a GREAT swim time and are an inspiration to a lot of people, including me. Sometimes even the very best have accidents out of their control, but I know how hard you worked to get there and how disappointed you must be.
Psalms 34:18 says "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart", so my prayers for you are that You will feel God's presence and will let Him heal your shattered heart.
I hope and pray that you have a speedy recovery.
Mary, my heart goes out to you.
Heal up my friend. Everything else will come in due time.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
dannikruse at gmail dot com
You are okay-you are a living breathing example of an incredible athlete that sometimes faces adversity. It is a life lesson Mary and just a page out of a number of pages that will describe your incredible athletic adventures. Maybe it was the hair!!!!! But you will race again and finish with success as you have done in the past. Thinking of you and sending a ginormous warm hug.
That bike course looked pretty hazardous in yesterday's conditions. I'm guessing that you went down. A concussion is bad, but I'm glad to hear that the rest of you is intact! I'm so sorry that your race ended like that. I know you are horribly disappointed. But I am also quite sure that like Arnold; you'll be back!
Until then check your email, the Starbucks is on me!
I'm sorry to hear your news.
I'm not sure what happened out there, but the beauty of this sport it that there are other opportunities. Sometimes its how you handle the adversity that makes you the real Ironman.
Hang in there...
Mary! Thank you for updating - I have been so worried! I was checking IM LIVE all day,and have been so worried. I am so sorry... I am thinking about you - you are in my thoughts... please let me know what I can do -
we all love you Mary!
Mary - so, so sorry about your race. I'm not sure what happened but I know that it wasn't something you could have controlled or you would have crossed that finish line!! You are in my thoughts and prayers and definitely hoping you are healthy and okay! Thinking of you lots!!
EWWWWW, Mary. Sorry, but shall you return with a vengence. That race was wretched. Godspeed. Cheers
Mary- I was tracking you and so worried when it stopped updating. I'm so sorry- I'll be sending healing prayers your way. Take care of yourself the way you take care of others. Karen W.(from the peds ED).
I was hoping the NA Sports was just doing a shitty job at the updates. I even thought i heard your name at the finish. Sorry Mary!
Heal your head and rest, or you'll end up retarded like me! I am the product of unresolved concussions. Wait. What are we talking about?
See what I mean.
MARY!!!!!! Thank heavens you are ok!! Everyone knows how much this race meant to you, I am so very sorry. It will probably take as long to heal your body as it will your heart...HANG IN THERE!
Oh no Mary! I'm SOOOOO sorry!!! It was such a crazy weather day yesterday. I thought of you a few times out there on the course and I was looking for 'Eggers' on your Splish. (Not that I would have seen you since it was raining so hard and you were probably WAY ahead of me :)
Get well soon!! All the best wishes to you!!
I came across your information from Marit as well. I am saddened that your race was cut short. Heal quickly and strongly! We all want you back out there in the race!!
Oh no! I was checking the website and when your time didn't update, I was worried. Thanks for posting. Heal up soon.
Mary!!!! I was worried about you all day - kept hitting "REFRESH" On my computer - hoping that it was a timing glitch - and when I realized it wasn't I thought, "Uh oh." I hope all is ok. Hang in there! Please update us! Jen H.
Mary, I havent been online this was my first check in and knowledge of what is going on with you...I will email you but I had to send a note, I am so sorry that things did not go AT ALL as you had trained and planned for. What matters most is your health and safety, im sending my biggest hugs and hope I see you at Breathe soon so we can talk, I am thinking of you with love, Amanda
Mary,
I am not sure if you received my message last night. I am new to the world of blogging. It is Kathleen from Tennessee. I met you on the plan heading to Panama City to do Gulf Coast and then ran into you and your family at the grocery store in LP. I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I could use a swim helmet... got bopped in the head during the swim exit. Anyway, you are a true champion in my book. I can not believe you were out on the course cheering us on. Thank you for your support. Your cheers helped me get up that last long hill on the second loop of the run off to finish my first Ironman.
I hope our paths cross again, unit then take good care of yourself.
Kathleen
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