The Mouse Capers of 2007

By request here is a story from May of 2007..... and for the record we've never seen him again!

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For days now we have been trying to catch a mouse. A mouse in my house? No. Worse. a mouse in my car. This four legged creature is believed to have jumped aboard my swimming bag in the garage, and was transported to my SUV. And ever since it has been a tour of madness and frustration for the ever growing "Team Mouse", who have tried to rid my vehicle of this small terrorist we have come to call Montramer.

It began on Saturday morning when we discovered mouse poop on my dashboard. That gave way to the entire stripping, bleaching, shampooing and sterilization of the car. Think an operating room is clean? You have seen nothing yet! My car…. cleaner!

Saturday night we placed a trap, bait and hold em trap in attempt to relocate the mouse to better places. Sunday morning there was no sign of a mouse which led us to believe that we were home free.

Montramer had left the Rav 4!!!!

Curt headed to Kansas City on Monday morning and I awaken to a car full of mouse poop. ARGH! ^%$#%%%%!!!!

The war had begun.

I was confident enough in my freak out control to drive to the store and buy some snap trap mouse traps. I was confident Montramer would not show his snarly little teeth to me behind the wheel. A snap trap isn't so easy to assemble. I had to even watch a video on the internet. So I laced it up, set it up, got it ready. I would kill Montramer and Curt would be so proud!!!!!!

Tuesday morning I bribed Luc to look in the car. We found the bait gone and an empty trap!!!!Have you ever seen the movie MOUSE TRAP with Nathan Lane? It suddenly became my entire existence. Catching a mouse is addictive! Especially when faced with the threat of it chewing your bike tires or cables! "I will get you mouse!' I cried throwing my fists in the air!

That's when the formation of "Team Mouse CSI" began to take shape. first inductee was Bill. Bill brought over some mouse poison, not really believing the mouse was in the car. Upon his arrival he was convinced….. we set three traps…… 2 snap traps, one block of poison, a catch and release trap…. and then the CSI idea. Bill surrounded the entire set up with baby powder. From this we could see the mouse's footprints, leading us like Hanzel and Gretel to his underground lair!!!!!Brilliant!

Three hours passed….. I peered into the car. NO NO NO! The traps had been fumbled with but I could look no more! I called Bill who brought over his girlfriend Sharon, who rumor has it would grab hold of the damn mouse herself!!!!!! Hence another member of "Team Mouse CSI" was inducted.

They show up with our next member, Hanna, Bill's daughter. So now we had Me, Luc, Bill, Sharon and now Hannah. Together over pizza we would get Montramer and rid the IRNCHICK mouse mobile of the mouse terror!!! No one would beat us! Curt would be so proud!!!

So they (note I said THEY) looked for the mouse. They prodded, poked, and could not find the mouse. Not in the seat. Not in the dashboard. Not in the engine. And not in a box with a fox wearing red striped socks, with chicken pox, a handful of rocks, and not even…… unbelievably…… not even on a block.

We set the traps, and we ate our pizza. Upon return to the car, the mouse had licked the traps clean. No mouse caught, we had been outsmarted again! The last member to join was Ken, who suggested heating out the mouse. By this point we determined the mouse was taking residence in the heating ducts underneath the passenger seat… as evidenced by the baby powder footprints. So we turned on the car and blasted the heat! Surely this would work!

He still, I admit….. did not come out.

So at last we set the traps a fourth time, loaded on the peanut butter, shut the doors and called it a night. Curt would be home at midnight and I would be hailed as a brave woman, conquering, defeating this terrorizing little mouse! I could see the pedestal he'd place me upon now!

Fast forward to 7am, upon my return from swim practice (and of course I was driving his car….). He stood in the driveway weary and worn from travels to the Midwest, and 2 days of meetings that likely filled his head with too much thought."Amateurs." He sneered, shaking his head and holding out the failed clean traps. "Amateurs."

I stood there in disbelief! What, how, how could it be????????

"No mouse?" I felt defeated once again. "You guys didn't even set the traps correctly!" He cried in disgust, "They need to be hair triggered! HAIR TRIGGERED!"

He was in obvious disappointment. "Look what you guys DID to these things, how can you not set a trap!!!"

"But I watched the internet video instructions from the website." I stupidly admitted. Curt looked at me. I could see the bubble over his head with his obvious thoughts. …… did she just say she watched the video instructions on the website????????...... what kind of idiot goes to a mousetrap website………….He stood there and sighed, knowing I was not driving the IRNCHICK Mouse Mobile.

"I will take your car…" He sighed, which by the way promoted him to instant superhero and CEO of Team Mouse CSI….. a title of which I am very certain he cares very much about and is very proud!

"You are to go get 2 new mouse traps, and do not touch them."One might assume the look on his face was pure annoyance, but I knew better. The man was just tired from traveling and now coming home to clean up the mouse mess of myself and my mouse posse. I knew he was secretly proud to be the knight in shining armor, to be secretly lacing up his superhero cape and sliding the black mask over his eyes. I mean, what else could he possibly have on his mind?

Off he drove in the IRNCHICK Mouse Mobile, stickered to the bone with signs of Iron and various items. And I was free again to get back behind the wheel. I could travel again. I got those mouse traps.

If 2 traps were in order then certainly four would work better.

So King Poombah National Champion Curt Eggers shall set the traps, and when he catches Montramer the horrible, antagonizing taunting mouse he will be once again hailed as the king that he is!

I quickly texted Bill to inform him of our failure, defeat not just by the mouse but by the King himself. I could almost feel the air let out of Bill, Sharon and Hannah's sails……. it slid out of mine as well.

I have faith. I have faith that my amazing husband will risk life and limb for me. He will catch that mouse, he will show me it's dead mouse body and then I will know that I am free from this terror. I will show the other mousse what will happen should they try to mouse ….. er….. mess with an Egg.

So mouses all around… listen up…… you stay on your side of the line, and I shall stay on mine. Don't bother me, I won't bother you. But dare, just dare to inhabit the vehicle of said Iron Girl Egg once again……And you will have to face your kryptonite, the King, the Knight, the terror of all mousse. And trust me it ain't gonna be pretty.