never change who you are

It's the advice my father gave me as a child. Among other great nugget of advice. Always tell the truth. Never spend more than you make. Always surround yourself with good people.

But never..... ever change who you are expanded to never change what you believe if you really believe it, never be swayed by what someone thinks of you..... because you should never take any one's opinion of you personally..... and always trust your gut instinct.

My father is an incredibly wise man. He is driven by very simple ethics and values. He doesn't get stuck in his head. He says what he means. He plays the game and smiled.

The man commands attention the moment he walks into a room.

People are always absolutely terrified of him.

Yet he's one giant fuzzball to be honest with you.

It's been a lifetime of amusement for me as my siblings and mine various boyfriends and especially the girlfriends.... have passed before him. The less he says the more intimidating he is. He can send them all into a tailspin with a simple nod of his head.

Yet he never does that intentionally.

People create this story and spin a tale in their mind just based on what they see. An extremely tall quiet man. He and I are often amused at the stories people will create just on that alone. What a weird sense of power. If you just ask him.... he would say..... why don't' you just have a conversation with me...... first?

What he has taught me through my life has absolutely guided me and everything that I do.

The boyfriends and girlfriends would change their behavior around him. Try to act a little more educated, try this, try that. Do you see...... they change what they do, talk about, because of what they believed he perceived them to be.

Have you ever done that?

I can pretty much say..... I have not. If you don't like me.... please move along. You don't agree with or like what I write? Click the red "X" in your upper right hand corner.

I'm not afraid to tell you that I believe in this war, but I will never try to change your opinion about it. You believe in it or you don't. If it bothers you so much that you have to attack me or you have to try to "educate" me on your opinion..... that's your stuff and not mine.

It applies to all areas of our lives. How can we live any other way? If you believe in you, believe in you. Don't look for justifications in other people. Love is much the same.

They love you or they don't.

Love isn't controlling. Love isn't wait and see...... he thinks he loves me one moment and the next........ it's probably why it took me all of .01 seconds to marry my husband. If I didn't love him..... I wouldn't dick around. I'd be gone. And the same towards me.

You should never need to jump through hoop X, Y, or Z to secure love, affection or friendship. They like you or they don't. Jumping through those hoops changes who you are.

Why would you ever have a friend or a spouse who changed who you are? They don't like the way you come? Move along please. Some say it has been my strength through life, but it's also been my curse.

Don't get me wrong...... I feel lucky about it. I feel grateful that I don't have to sit in that spinning wheel of wonder in terms of relationship or friendships. Life is pretty black and white, why do we spend so much time in shades of grey????

Never change who you are. Never change what you believe in. And always trust your instinct.