sometimes you are the windshield, sometimes you are the bug

One of the hardest things about being an athlete is understanding what to do with that space between your ears. The past few seasons I have learned a lot about what makes me tick as an athlete. As I add gadgetry to my training I find it became more of a struggle to race from that place inside of me that knows how to soar, as I got hung up on numbers, rates, zones and paces.

This season it feels like I have finally arrived at a more balanced place. I can wear my Garmin without judging myself on the pace I am or am not keeping. When I wore it trail running last season I'd be worried that my pace was slower. Last weekend was really.... who cares..... I feel great running in the woods.

As Kelly B and I were running last week together I was able to feel the harder pace rather than look at it.

Here is a great set of sentences from Angela Naeth, who is a definite ONE TO WATCH in 08 and now in 09.......

And my lesson so far this week: Don't think. When I ride my bike and the workout calls for some hard pedaling I just go for it. I'm not afraid to push myself. I'm confident in my skills and if I blow up I know I'll have another day to try again. In running though, I tend to worry and over-think what I'm doing rather than to just run. I feel a lot more aches and pains when I run and always seem to worry that they'll turn into a full-blown injury. And in swimming I think more than I swim! Injury isn't the worry but I think about how my hand enters the water, how I catch it then pull, push, and prod – which gets me nowhere fast! I need to swim and run more like the way I ride, without much thought. When your focus is not to have focus you actually get the work done….and FAST!

Truth be told I had a rough week of training. Family, specifically Luc's issues took precedence. I took three entire days off (Oh MY!), and I could look at in in panic as I have New Orleans just a few weeks away..... or I could just shrug my shoulders, work it in as part of the plan and move along.I think a year ago I would have panicked.

Whew. It's better to be here. Life happens.

Still, this weekend I am able to put in 9 or so hours. And those hours will be quality today. I will be on the bike for a tempo 2 and then transition to a 10 mile tempo run. These are the kind of workouts that 70.3 races are made of. And I will do another one on Tuesday.

Next weekend will be a race simulation day to see how I am holding my paces, and where I can predict my time will be for this 70.3 I have stated my goals before and I have to remind myself as much as anyone..... I want that PR to happen in Clearwater in November, not in New Orleans on April 5th. New Orleans is a reward to myself, for being and staying healthy, for training healthy, for working hard at work and at school and everything else I do. It's my gift to me. I wanted to go somewhere new, somewhere warm and begin a new career stalking Chris McCormick. I want to know if I have the guts to ask him to sign my arm for the race.

Wish me luck.

So we deal with the adversity one day at a time. In the scope of life, I don't have adversity. I have small challenges. If I was blown off course by each adn every challenge thrown my way I'd be still anchoring my boat.

It's how we handle these bumps in the road that make the difference.

This week will itself be a challenge. I am homeschooling Luc for a week or two while we undergo some evaluations and attempt to find a better placement for him.

It means creative scheduling for our family. I have a lot of support around me and one of my friends Lyndsey...... made me promise that I would utilize the help offered to me.

I am not superwoman no matter how hard I try.

So I wont' try to be.

Here is the suit I will be wearing in New Orleans...... no writing, no names, no nothing. Just raw........