Delta Delta Delta

Happy Mother's Day to me! In the Atlanta airport eating a parfait, and at least I have Starbucks.

This afternoon I paid two hundred and thirty dollars to fly my bike. TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS.

The gate agent said the price and not only did I throw up in my mouth, but I shat myself as well.

"New regulations." She said.

"Since Thursday?" I asked. "I paid $80 to fly it down!" And was told that the gate agent in Rochester "did it wrong." I ask her to explain to me how on earth this costs $230 to fly. IS there a dollar amount per inch? Per pound? I know the rules, I am an athlete who flies with her bike quite a bit!

I politely ask to speak with the manager. He tells me the rules and the rules and that I need to take it up with customer service.... honey. I sigh and hand them my card. Of which they tell me they can not accept because they can't quite clearly read my name on the back. And my business name is on the front.

"We don't know it's yours." The manager tells me.

"I own the business." I laugh. "Founder.... President..... CEO...."

"Sorry." He says "My agent won't be accepting that!"

Am I on some show, where Marit will be running around the corner with a TV camera laughing? Now would be the time for that to happen.

"There's an ATM around the corner honey." He instructs me.

I walk around the corner ready to withdraw TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS in AMERICAN money might I add.... to fly by bicycle. And then I see it.

OUT OF ORDER.

I sigh. I walk back to the counter. I tell them it's out of order. All three gate agents shrug. They rudely tell me I can take a cab to the nearest ATM machine..... 3 miles away.

Oh my god. Marit... Ashley.... are you here with cameras???????

I dial my husband.... who doesn't answer.

I dial my parents.... who don't answer.

I start dialing friends..... finally one answers. God love him he gives the gate agent his credit card number over the phone..... because did I mention they would not accept the card from my non business account because they could not see my name clearly enough either? And when I asked if we could call the 1-800 number.... or I could pull up the account on my laptop..... no sorry honey, that just won't do.

My ever so amazing friend gives them his credit card number over the phone. They take it, and I am so grateful to him! I ask them why on earth they can accept a credit card over the phone (for a fee that is so up the ass it's not even funny!) and can't accept TWO cards I have in front of them.

"Policy honey." I am told. Did I acquire a new boyfriend? Am I going steady with this man? Is there a reason he seems to think my name is honey?

This is all code word for: we are gate agents who don't have a brain cell to think from, so we just blindly follow rules we don't understand.

Once in Atlanta... where I am now..... I walk to the customer service desk. They repeat the same schpeel. Hey gate agent in Rochester..... look out.... Delta keeps calling you an idiot!

But they ask me to put into writing what has happened. That in 30 days they will refund whatever they deem appropriate.

How about next time I buy the damn ticket for my bike and it gets to fly with me? because if I am going to pay more than my ticket to fly my bike then it gets to sit next to me instead of get manhandled by your baggage people who like to break my freaking bike box!!!!!!!

Hell I have been wearing the same clothes for four days so that the only thing I have to check is the bike box!

As I left my bike in the hands of the gate agents in Panama City Beach I warned them.... not only had my bike better arrive... it'd better arrive without any damage. (I imagine they were just shaking in their boots... uh... yeah).

I shall keep you updated. I will not be taken advantage of like this. This is robbery. Rules one day don't matter the next.... people who can't seem to agree on anything.... and people who follow policy to follow policy.... I don't think so!

Happy Mother's Day to ME!