Catch of the Century!

Inspired by Ryan and my unending desire to nab that Bontrager Disc Wheel .... I decided to let my husband know that not only am I the ideal wife.... I am the catch of the century.

Somewhere in the offices of Sprint my husband has just spewed his coffee all over his laptop. It is not my fault that he fried his laptop.... I would never allow coffee to exit my mouth except for the way it should go.

Now why would anyone consider me to be the catch of the century? No, I am not prom queen material. Hell I don't even know how to correctly apply mascara. A triathlete wife .... the ideal one like me, is not hard to find. We are often found on race courses.

So my dear husband.... and to anyone who would like to rent an ideal triathlete wife.... I can be bought with something beautiful and round. A Bonrtager disc wheel. Here is a list of why I believe myself to be the catch of the century for Curt Eggers......

1. I made it just under 17 hours when I gave birth to our son. By the skin of my teeth I made it but I got under by about one minute!

2. I carried around that monster baby for 9 months on a spinning bike listening to Jeff the spinning instructor tell me to have more rhythm on the bike while listening to MC Hammer. That right there should get me a disc wheel each and every year. Seeing how our son is now 7 I should allow that to go.

3. I can blow a double snot rocket on command..... and I have excellent aim.

4. I know how to work a pedal wrench and a chain whip.

5. I am a four time Ironman finisher and I not only chicked Curt ..... I wifed him. Okay this might make me attractive to someone other than Curt.... this may earn me a divorce.

6. That one time I passed you on the bike in 2004 and you went off course.... I swear I whispered really loud to you that you were going the wrong way....... what other wife would do that???? (He still kicked my ass).

7. I can disassemble a bike in 20 minutes flat. And reassemble.

8. I can pack a bike in a bike box like it's no body's business.

9. When you were having trouble with your wheel the other night..... and I fixed it.... was that sexy or what?

10. I can mix an array of drinks: Carbo Pro, Gatorade, and I can explain the nutritional content of each. I can't cook a turkey but who needs a turkey in a triathlon????

11. As Ryan pointed out I not only know what the letters V Dot and FTP stand for, I even know what they mean.

12. I have beautiful hair and I don't think I own a hairbrush!

13. My makeup expenses cost $15.... for the last decade. The last time I wore makeup was on our wedding day.

14. I love honeymoons to Ironman Canada, and trips abroad for World Championships!

15. I have never asked to go on a cruise.

16. When someone asked me what carat my diamond was I said "Who wears a carrot on their hand and how much does YOUR bike weigh???"

17. I can show you the best razor to use for shaving legs.... the one that will never cut you!

18. Most of my clothes are made of Lycra / spandex / coolmax and are of the skimpy theme!

19. Lingerie to me means a 2 piece speedo. Wait, this might not buy me anything!

20. I am thrilled to be presented with Cervelo P2K's at my baby shower.

21. I am a very flexible triathlete who can balance on her forearms! That's good for something!

22. I look my prettiest at the finish line of an Ironman.

23. My shoe collection consists of running and cycling shoes.

24. I'd rather spend money on bikes than the house.

25. I don't bitch when you go out to train. Don't bitch when I do either then!

26. My idea of a date is riding my computrainer next to you.

27. I was honest when I high fived Luc Van Lierde in Hawaii......... and when I met Faris last summer..... I was honest! And I stalked Brian Rhodes in your very presence!

Now believe it or not there are more, but I do realize that you have work to do. So the next time you sigh, complain or wish you had a wife that wasn't a triathlete...... take a look at this list and remember I could be a girl who likes diamonds and pearls instead of carbon fiber and powermeters!

Lucky Curt