My Secret Aspiration

I have a confession to make. I have a secret dream of being a Starbucks Barista.

I know... I know..... this great big college education and entrpreneuer and yoga teacher thing.... I would throw it all away in a second for the chance to work in the Mecca.

Yaddi, Yaddi, Yaddi..... big mean corporate America running small town coffee places, I agree, but I just can't help it. I love that I visit just about each one in town. I love that I know all the managers, I love that they know me and my family.

So why don't I just go and work there? I don't know. I could do it, I know I could! I mean I can start an IV on 2 day old babies and kids who are flailing and kids who don't even have arms. I can pump blood into someone while standing on their stretcher as they slide through a CT machine. My multitasking skills truly are top notch.

Sometimes when things get rough in the Peds ED I close my eyes and imagine....

What size would you like, tall grande or perhaps Venti?

Extra hot sir?

We have to make three shots anyways.... would you like an extra?

Iced or hot? (even though I believe it to be a SIN to put ice in coffee!)

The best part... if I make the wrong drink... no one dies... well unless they have some raging allergy but ah-ha! I would be right there to swoop into action.

Did I ever tell you that our Emergency Dept Pharmacist once handed me a 200mg vial of caffeine? (it was for a teenager with a migraine!) and I almost flat lined myself.

IT COMES IN A VIAL AND I CAN IN FACT ADMINISTER IT IV!

I told my 17 year old patient as I was giving it to her that I felt jealous. And heck I did.

If I worked at Starbucks I wouldn't have to put up with people waving guns and people losing limbs and people asking for prescriptions for Tylenol. Sure there would be smaller headaches like I asked for that in a Venti.... or I told you extra whip.... or this doesn't taste right.

The grass of course is greener on the other side.

If I worked at Starbucks I'd know everything there was to know about coffee, and I already know a lot. The other day however I did run into a big problem. The person in front of me ordered her drink extra wet.

I swear I turned red. Extra wet? What did that mean? I was torn between not knowing what that means and being pretty sure that was code for porn coffee.

If I worked at Starbucks I'd have at least one free drink a day which would help me save on my existing coffee bill. I would be able to identify beans by smell, have access to grinders and I am very sure I would have the inside scoop on the wonderful blend called Pike Place and I bet I'd be able to fill my bathtub with beans.......

But then again what if there were corporate world politics like there are hospital politics and like there is regular business people politics? What if I began a career as a Barista and realized that the place I have come to know and love as the Mecca.... really wasn't. My entire life would be shattered. My dreams, hopes, aspirations.... gone in the flash of a moment.

It would be like someone telling me there wasn't a Santa Claus. All my life I have believed! You say he is not real? Pick me up off the floor. Better yet I am a DNR don't bring me back.

So I think I am okay where I am at. I shall still dream of the Mecca, the green apron, the thousand ways in which I could make coffee taste great. Greater than great. My dream of being Barista of the Century for now will have to remain a dream.

Now I have to go find Dan the pharmacist and see where I can get me some of that straight up caffeine!