No..... Not Me!

If you saw a brown haired girl wearing a while helmet with sunshine's painted on it riding a mountain bike with a pink seat, riding the LV Trail yesterday morning, it wasn't me. True, she had a smile bigger than the whole darn earth...... but not me. If she happened to be picking off each recreational rider and pretending they were Michellie Jones, Lisa Bentley, Desiree Ficker...... definitely not me.

When the guy wearing tube socks tried to race her, and she dropped the hammer on him...... sure it might be something I would do...... but it wasn't me. It was my husband. Wearing a wig. And implants. Yeah..... Curt Eggers it was!

I wouldn't go against doctor's orders.

And if you looked inside my cupboards this week and happened to notice that the great big bag of cheese popcorn that appeared when we returned home from Placid...... if you noticed how that has steadily been disappearing over the past 2 weeks...... not me.

How did I get these cheese stained fingers?

I have jaundice. Because I would never admit to a peanut M&M eating crowd that the one food I happen to have a weakness for is cheese popcorn...... and that I bought that bag and shared it with no one and gave myself a license to eat it.... and when it is gone it is gone not to be bought again...... it was probably my sister's. So she lives in Paris and comes home twice a year.

It's hers. Who would eat cheese popcorn over chocolate? Besides I would never dare admit that because Jen H would shoot me an email like she did when I admitted to tomato soup and saltines to be among my favorite foods ;-) .

And while I am at it who has laundry strewn all over the laundry room? I mean if you are going to wash your clothes, finish the damn job!!!! So whoever has a very strange collection of waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to much Lululemon, a thousand pairs of blue scrubs, and more running skirts than you can shake a stick at..... please fold and put it away. Curt and Luc do their own laundry so whoever this mystery woman is who has done this to my house...... clean it the heck up.

Geesh.

And while I am at it if you were the one who left eight hundred Starbucks coffee cups in my car..... it must have been Miss Rachel Ross..... who else would it be....she's on the mainland....... the least you could do is throw them away, not leave them polluting my car. It could be her Lululemon too.... hmmmmmm.....

Ahhhh..... the benefits of a head injury! But not mine. It's just what I hear!