Today

Our sport means so many different things to each of us. Even within ourselves it means different things. Some days.... many days it is my therapy. There are just things I experience on a 100 minute run that I can't experience, work through, or cope with in any other venue. The sound of my feet hitting the gravel as I run through a canopy of trees. The cool feeling of the morning air washing over my skin.

Today my long run was my therapy. Tomorrow my bike ride will be about something else. Tonight's swim was about hanging out with friends.

I think back to that very first duathlon.... geez..... maybe 12 years ago? The one I did with great anticipation and on a mountain bike.

I think about all the Masters practices over the years, the traveling to races, the races, the bikes.... the runs..... I think of all of the amazing people I have had the fortune of experiencing. Some are still around and some have moved on.

Amy Kloner wrote something that really sat well with me the other day...... she wrote "I don't want things..... I want experiences...." And I thought, yes, that's exactly what I have gotten over the years. Sure there have been awards, medals, wins, losses...... but the experiences are what I treasure the most.

I met my husband on a 50 mile ride. The first one I ever did. Now over 10 years later the platform of this sport has enriched and at the same time focused our lives.

Sometimes people will ask me when I am going to settle down a bit and become one of those normal moms. You mean the ones who so completely lose themselves in the lives of others that they don't know who they are anymore????? The ones who are afraid and the ones who can't stand up for themselves? The ones who wonder what if..... all the time?

That's not me. That never was me. That will never be me.

I am an athlete. It's who I am and it's in my soul. It's how I express myself. It's how I have been able to experience the most incredible experiences and the most incredible people.

This morning my run was about therapy. Therapy as I cope with a recent tragedy....(and I know I keep referring to this .... I will write about it..... I just need some time.... and with all the buildup I am giving it you will read it and think..... that's IT???????), therapy as I allow a piece of me that broke to heal.

When I came home I know my husband knew what this run was about. He knows this is how I need to heal. Thank God I have him as my husband. I honestly don't think I could experience what I have experienced throughout my life without him by my side.

Tonight we went back to the pool...... this afternoon Luc spent 90 minutes jumping off the 3 meter board and tonight while I swam he jumped another 90. Kim swam with me and she jumped too. Curt watched and smiled and I knew that he knew.

For me this sport is a venue for so much. Therapy, family, friends, love, loss, all wrapped into one. I can't imagine my life without it. I can't imagine my family without it. And as I look around I can't imagine my life without these guys!