That Feeling

I glanced up at the clock last night as I stood in the trauma bay, over a teenage girl who was in a car accident. She was awake, speaking, likely had some broken bones. Plenty of Pediatric Nurses were around. Fifteen minutes past midnight and I had to be up at 4:45. But that's every Tuesday into Wednesday, and it's better than working a night shift. Had she been more injured, or had there been one less nurse around I would have remained in place and finished the trauma.... but my friend Sheila nudged me.

"We got it Mar." she said, and I knew what she meant.

Sheila knows... hell she just watched the Escape form Alcatraz on tv the other night. Sheila's not an athlete but she's the mother of five, and the wife of a cancer survivor. She understands priorities. She understands me.So I slid in the patent's IV, drew 30 cc's of blood for a trauma panel, bid my friends goodnight and crept out the door.

My four hour shift complete and I had a bounce in my step regardless of the fact that we were getting slammed from all ends with patients. Bloody arms, abdominal pain, you name it, they came in. Sometimes I wonder if we have seen every child in Rochester.....Last night it didn't matter because I am so excited.

It's day 3 of Ironman Florida preparation and I had to check my coffee bean stash. Did I buy a stronger bean? No, I buy the strongest. What is this fluttering of my heart? Atrial Fib? No, heart rate is too slow.

4:50am came and I leapt out of bed groggy but knowing my beloved java was fresh brewed and waiting. The drive to Canindiagua was quiet, and one of my athletes Dennis came rolling in shortly after me. Dennis just completed his first Ironman, crossed the finish line with his two young daughters and his wife beaming.

He's got the feeling I've got, I could tell. He decided to go and do Pigman, a 1/2 Ironman in the Midwest next weekend. He took 2 weeks of recovery and we repeated his taper. He's jumpy, he's smiley and I know the feeling. We swim the same pace so I really enjoy when Dennis shows up, especially at 6am. The water was choppy and we couldn't swim straight to save our lives. I had one goal for this morning's swim, and that was to focus. I tend to daydream about that Ironman finish line, and I wanted to feel more honed today. So I thought about 2 words and only 2 words. Smooth and strong. Through the 52 minute swim I was able to repeat that mantra to myself over and over.

During the drive home I felt such excitement. Again I questioned it... too much coffee? No, just one cup. Dehydration? No, I had 50 ounces of water in me already this morning. What was this feeling?????

Arriving home I kissed my boys and again profusely thanked my husband. While he does have the ability to work from home, he has better access to resources at his office. But during the summer months he works from home for a little while to allow me some time for training. Just a 30 minute run was on tap and I couldn't wait to get into my running shoes.

Something is wrong... I can't wait to run? What's going on? During my run I felt happy, I felt light. I concentrated at running my prescribed pace, my prescribed cadence, and kept an eye on my heart rate. Just like my swim I wanted to focus. Each time I drifted into Ironman dreamland I noticed an elevation of heart rate :-)

So I thought about commitment. And I repeated that to myself every other stride. Commitment to the run, to the program, to the parameters, to the plan. And I smiled the whole time. 40 minutes later my run was uploaded and my daily report sent in to Coach T.

I sat back and smiled. I looked at my daily stats. Dangerously low on sleep at 3.5 hours. But I know that and I know that comes and I know that this afternoon I will nap, and I know I will have to remain on top of hydration and nutrition today.I rated my motivation a 10+ on the scale of 1-10.

All of a sudden there has been a new energy breathed into me. It's not that something was wrong.... it is something that is right. I don't know when I have felt this level of energy, motivation and passion last. I thought I had it all along, but suddenly it is heightened. That's all good news during this first week of transition. We'll be logging 9.75 hours and I know that fatigue and soreness is coming.

I know that this very well may be a temporary feeling, but it also might not be. I am excited, I am smiling, and I am anxious to go longer and go faster. But I know what coach T would say..... hold back, sit tight.... it will be here soon enough.

Thanks for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers