The Tri Life

Recently people have commented to my husband and I that somehow, we make our triathlon lifestyle work with family. There are no real secrets to a triathlon lifestyle, but there is understanding, priorities, and ground rules. For the past 8 years we've been lucky to have evolved through a lot together. From our son's open heart surgery to career, to Ironman and National Championships. But here are a few of the things we do to maintain the balance in our lives;

1. Family First. Family is our top priority. 99% of the time Curt and I train on our own time. That means very early morning workouts, or in my case workouts while Luc is at school. I am blessed to have an incredibly flexible schedule; I work from home as a Triathlon coach, I teach yoga and I am a pediatric emergency nurse 4 hours a week. We designed that so I could be home with Luc. Yes there is the occasional long ride that's done on a Saturday, but it is started by6am and done by noon.

2. Giving each other a "day" Many of us in life thrive on stability and predictability. The same with us. A few years ago Curt needed some set days to establish his training, and then the "day" theory evolved. We give each other one evening night during the week where we can do whatever we want. For Curt that is Monday night and that's his long ride. When he comes home from work, we are already occupied, he does his own thing without bother. For me that's Thursday nights, and I usually head to yoga. I think that it is important to give each other the time needed to do what you need to do. Believe it or not, Luc gets that too.

3. Fitness as a way of life. We enjoy being fit, and that's rubbed off on our son. We swim and bike together each week. We spend hours at the playground. We do not own one single video game. We don't care if Luc is a triathlete or an athlete. As parents we have a healthy lifestyle deeply ingrained in him. He is the child who would rather play hide and seek then watch a movie. He is the kid who would be outside all day long, and often is. It helps him in so many ways to get his exercise every day.

4. Communication I grew up in a very volatile home. There wasn't a day that went by without some massive fight. That being said now that we've all grown up and have our own lives.... that's all gone away. I can finally call my brothers and sisters my friends, and even my parents. But growing up in that environment caused me to have one goal as I grew into a family of my own. Communication. It was my intention moving into marriage and family that there would be no screaming, no screaming arguments, no daily battles. Come hell or high water Luc was growing up in a home with none of that. Now it's taken us 7 years of marriage, sometimes good communication, sometimes not so good. But we have kept the communication lines open and we have worked hard at discussing issues before they come to blows. It's hard. Sometimes it is easier to hold back until it builds up. I am proud that we have taken the load less traveled for us and worked hard on this. I can be proud that our 6 year old has so far grown up in a home that has contained much more laughter than tears. I pray we can keep that going.

5. Non Tri... In a house with 2 competitive triathletes it is all too easy to let all conversation become about triathlon. It's where we met. It's how we fell in love, it is a common bond. Over the years we have worked hard to grow in the other areas of our lives. Politics, world events. It's fun to "pick a topic" and have a discussion about it in the car. It's refreshing. Making sure we are multidimensional is important to us.

6.. Love While this might seem obvious, it is really the connecting thread of my life. Again it comes from childhood. While I knew I was a loved child.... there was no hugging, no kisses in my home. Those began to come later in life as we were adults. I remember being shocked that my father, whom is my hero in life, kissed me on the cheek at my wedding. As we created our own family we keep love as the theme. We hug and smooch each other and our son so many times a day I hope it seems ridiculous. But I'd much rather Luc wipe a mooch off his cheek as the bus comes in embarrassment, rather than feeling like he could never hug his mother.

Life isn't perfect. Marriage isn't perfect. But you have to... in life... in love... in career.... in sport.... you have to take the good with the bad. The valleys and the mountains. They would never exist without each other. Just because you have come upon a high peak or a low dip... does not mean it will be that way forever. Stay the middle ground and accept the highs and lows.

For us, this system has worked. Different things have worked for different people. We were only able to have one child, so this system might not work for those families who have 2,3,4. Believe me I wish we did have more!

I do believe it helps that we are both competitive athletes because it allows us to understand each other's goals and needs. As I am recovering form the Ironman I have taken some good time off and cleared the way for Curt to prepare for Worlds. As he has allowed me to take the time to prepare for these Ironmans.

As our son grows older and gets into his own activities things will change. Priorities will change, our seasons will change. Curt and I are triathletes for the long haul though, so retirement is never an option. I want to be the oldest woman at the Lake Placid Ironman someday. And who knows, maybe that very same day I will have a son competing as well. And maybe I won't.

You know what? That's just fine with me.

Thanks for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers