The Whisper

I have been waiting for this day, since we began running camp eleven days ago. The day where the honeymoon ended, and reality set in. Mind you each run I have done except for time trial Tuesday has been very slow and very short. Thursday however is double run Thursday, as the once stashed drunk in me made her once - a - decade debut. I missed a run that day and it was then decided.... we still need to hit 14 in 14 so Thursday I get to run twice.

It began innocently enough but 5 minutes into my run I noticed my skyrocketing heart rate, and my fatigue. I can't claim it to be muscular fatigue, but life fatigue. The events of the past week had caught me this morning... Wedding, Summer Sizzler, Wedding part II, Wedding Part III, the pink wine, a massive sleep deficit, the broken leg and the cumulative effects of teaching a 6 year old how to handle a wheelchair, crutches, a walker....

WHEW.

Yet somehow in the misery of this morning's run, I was smiling. Smiling because I can feel the effects of what is happening to me. Feeling the passion developing to run. Passion to run? I looked in the mirror to make sure it was still me. So yes the body was tired, but my heart was fired up. I have to bike in a bit, and run again tonight. And I look forward to running again at night. To look back on this day and say "I ran twice and I ran twice when I was tired."

What will that accomplish?

Deep in the throws of an Ironman marathon, when I am touring redneck riviera for the second time of the day... when there are no flats and not a lot of shade... when there is no fan club and no accolades.... right when I come face to face with the brink... I will be stronger for it. Because of runs like today. Because of the runs that are coming with coach and stopwatches and spreadsheets. Because of runs where I know I can not stop, where I start to believe death is imminent. Because of runs like this when my body says no.... my heart will say yes. And then my mind will start to slowly come around. And I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how tired I am, no matter how loudly I scream NO in my own head.

The quieter, more confident, athlete within me will simply whisper....

YES YOU CAN.

Thanks for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers