first day of school

That damn dog better not be licking apart my favorite black danskos. I hear something suspicious going on downstairs, scrape, chew scrape. Welcome to spring and pre fixed dog in heat. If it turns out my Danskos knock up my dog I am going to be seriously pissed off.

Or I will be basking in yet another pair of Danskos forever.

In other news that makes you want to step off of the earth, grab a hold of the sides and just shake the whole damn planet screaming

AREYOUPEOPLEFORFREAKING REAL??????

My son begins his new school on Monday. On Tuesday we had the big meeting, which I call the DumnF*** round table. In a second you will see why.

In the Individual Education Plan (IEP) they "grant" kids like Luc special permissions. For example; how many times he received speech therapy or occupational therapy per week. He gets a 1:1 aide (an assigned BFF!).... and the very best one I have ever heard in my life.......

"Do we want to approve permission for Luc to carry a teddy bear on the bus?" Before you laugh, my little guy has some sensory issues, he uses a soft blanket when he's anxious. So they thought if he wanted to bring his bear on the bus...... he could.

WE NEED TO GET PERMISSION FOR A TEDDY BEAR?

"Can we make sure that's a small teddy bear?" another teacher asked. "We don't want him to use it as a weapon."

Warning to all parents: my son might attack your child with a teddy bear. Please arm them properly with a stuffed dog. Don't dogs eat bears? Better yet, have them bring shark bait in their lunch box, but don't forget to get permission.

If I ever got off the bus crying because I was attacked by a teddy bear, my Dad would just have kicked my A**. And for the record, just trust me that my son will be attacking no one with a teddy bear. He knows better. Period.

So the vote (yes..... VOTE) was taken and SMALL teddy bear approved.

"Can we just then vote on an iPod please?" I threw out there. I do not want to receive a call at work, oh Lord I can see it now..... "Mrs. Eggers we have had to suspend your son..... he brought an iPod on the bus and it was not in his IEP. Therefore we have to consider it a weapon. Suspension from home for a week."

You think that's funny. But you don't live in Western New York. That isn't an exaggeration.

So the vote was taken and the iPod was approved. So I got a little snarky. Is he allowed a baseball cap? A jacket? Underwear? Should he pass through a metal detector before boarding the bus..... because last I checked our national security was on level hot pink for children on the autism spectrum bringing deadly weapons like stuffed bears and iPods..... and god forbid..... don't say it....... what if they brought a BOOK ON THE BUS???????????????

In all fairness the people making this decision are from the school we are leaving. It's the school I run out of every time we are there with my middle finger so high in the air that the children look up to see what I am pointing at. (Santa! I scream!)

Some people think they are talented in the special education department...... and they are not.

It would be me thinking I closely resemble Jennifer Aniston. (I am a brunette but otherwise I can see why you think that I do look like her)

The folks at the new school...... at least for now, but I remain a skeptic (go through this crap with special ed enough times and you learn that what people say and what they do is bigger than yin and yang)...... the folks at our new school actually seem to get these kids.

There is a room they call "Mission Control". It's a room with a children's spinning bike, a skateboard ramp with skateboards (actual real live skateboards...... are those approved?), swings, beanbag chairs, everything that a kid like mine might need if he needs to take a break from class.

Encouraging movement........ wow, this is freaking genius.

They have "several opportunities for movement" all day long.

We need to have an opportunity for movement? This is what this world has come down to? Every 8 year old boy in freaking America should have 99.5% of their day be movement.

Notice this: the boys who don't sit still in class....... how many times has their teacher suggested to the parent that their kid needs medication....... when I would lay money down on the fact that recess is very restricted. Gym has been cut down. Sit still young man. Or risk being doped up on medication.

Boys don't need medication...... they need movement.

And last I checked a Masters in Education never included MEDICAL DOCTOR.

One teacher ONCE suggested to me that Luc needed to be medicated. Never again has a teacher suggested that to me...... they now.... know better. If anyone needs to be suggesting a child be on medication it is a D.O.C.T.O.R. AND AND AND a full developmental and psychological evaluation FIRST.

FIRST FIRST FIRST.

Because with all due respect Miss Teacher...... when I come into your classroom and tell you how you ought to be teaching...... I expect you react the same way to ME. There are children who need medication. Mine might be one of them. But you with your Masters Degree in EDUCATION will not be making that decision.

Look at how many children are ON medication now as opposed to when you were in high school. There are kids who need it..... and then those who do not. Realize this: for the ones who do not....... when you introduce a medication into their system you change them.

Back to Mission Control. In the same breath that I find it sad that there is no opportunity for children to move and play in our schools, I am so delighted that this new school has the opportunity for movement around every corner.

In my son's old school there are stop signs at every corner of the hallways. We walked through the hospital yesterday and Luc asked why wall corners don't have stop signs on them in hospitals.

OMG! FOR FREAKING REAL??????????????

Because LIFE doesn't happen like this. And in the end it is not the responsibility of our schools it is the responsibility of PARENTS. My son wont' attack your son with a teddy bear because HE KNOWS NOT TO. HE KNOWS BETTER. My son won't jump you in a hospital hallway because WE TAUGHT HIM SOMETHING VERY SIMPLE: right and wrong. Nice and Mean. Good and Bad.

Remember the good old days? The days where you were terrified to act out in class because if your teacher called home....... your ass was grass. You heard your Dad come home from work and call your name and you shook with fear. The Principal was never my PAL. Now every one's BFF and emailing one another. The Principal never called my house.... if they did...... I'd probably impale myself on something because that's essentially what would have become of me.

We don't need to medicate kids, we need to reestablish authority in school. Screw calling a child's parent to tell them they need medicated, parents need to again be PARENTS and teachers need to be teachers.

The good old days of Ferocious Ferraro..... Sister Virginia..... my GAWD if they said jump I'd say how high. If they were around today there would be lawsuits because they'd make kids afraid. Parents would be up in arms.

I blame it on everyone. Society. When I was young my job was to go to school. My job was to work hard. If I didn't attain a certain grade average I lost the ability to swim. If I wanted to smoke I could smoke but I had to maintain my position on the swim team and maintain my GPA.

(I smoked once before practice.... never again). I didnt' have yacht club, hair club, this and that. My parents made it very clear to me what was expected of me. A step out of line and I was dead.

My goodness. What are we creating in this world? Children who rely on medication rather than self control and willpower? Children who are square pegs forced into round holes?

The second wave is coming. There are talented people out there who see the Forrest beyond the trees. One of those people is my friend Wendy, Doctor Wendy. She's one of the few who gets it and she teaches the upcoming generation of Masters prepared educators (teachers) to see these kids not as something that they need to control, but that they need to water and allow to bloom.

So Monday morning Luc will be on the bus of MOM (my car), with whatever he wants (within reason, come ON). He can carry a bear or an iPod without approval. We will walk into a new school with a lot of hope, a lot of experience and ready to begin with a clean slate.

And hope that for now we are in the right place. In the meantime I am continuing to do what I need to do on my end. Being a parent and not my son's BFF.