kryptonite

The email came this morning....from the new coach...... would you consider an Ironman in June of 2010.....

Oh for God's sakes. I thought. Please.... please don't ask me that.

When that damn word is stated...... IRONMAN....... I get the same thrill seeking flutter in my stomach every single damn time. Does he now understand that Ironman and I broke up? We've got a lot to fix first before I put my money down next to an M Dot.

But...... I have a feeling a lot is going to get fixed. I even laugh at myself for saying that like it won't be me doing the work. But seriously all I will have to do is bust a gut and follow directions. My new coach has no clue that I am the world's best direction follower.

WORLD'S BEST.

I am telling you I am the dream athlete to coach. I don't ask a lot of questions, I don't even really ask what the plan is although I will know it. When I am in a coach athlete relationship I simply look at each day's workouts, own the goals and do the work. At least that's my perspective. :-) HA HA!

When it's my only responsibility to hit watts, paces, heart rates, download and send them I am excellent at it.

My pet peeve in my own training is rescheduling. I like a basic week to stay a basic week. At this moment my schedule is such..... that it can. No surprises week to week. Busy is busy but when it isn't a rotating and revolving busy it is so much easier.

Back to that Ironman word. Ironman and I had a bad breakup last season if you remember...... I barely do. What keeps me from jumping in is not the fact that I have an Ironman DNF. Seriously when you have done four Ironmans that sting is not nearly as bad as it would be if it were #1. What puts fear in my heart is the fact that I am missing, in terms of memory, big chunks of that day.

Like most of 67 miles on my bike. Or when Jason pulled off my wetsuit and I don't even remember the conversation we had.

Taking a hill at 53 miles per hour in the pouring rain..... and kind of remembering that I was seeing double...... so aim for the middle......

The missing memory is what scares me. Am I afraid to toe the line with 2000+ people?

No. That does not scare me.

So when he wrote the word Ironman I almost shit myself. Partly in fear and partly in excitement. Could Iornman and I have a reunion? Could we kiss and make up?

Good Lord it is a year away. And it makes me smile in excitement.

I think it is the hope of a new relationship with this coach, new opportunity, a new system, and the hope that this struggling athlete could in fact make that comeback she so dreams of.

But for now..... can we just not say the "I" word?