eyes wide shut

Today is a good day. I think. I am so damn sleep deprived that when I tell myself it is a good day I believe it. But I could also tell myself just about anything right now and I'd believe it. Conversations with myself are fun.

Perhaps it was appropriate to unload the 83 pound bowling ball I have been carrying around with me ..... into blogland...... kind of send it out there...... because note to self: ut was a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy. Thank you so much for the hugs and support. I will never be able to convey to you how much it meant. Thank you isn't even enough.

Now.... let's review. Training is what we triathletes call exercise..... it's like our code word. It's like calling a runner a jogger. Training (exercise) reduces stress. Physiologically proven! So my two week break has officially ended. I have however been awake for over 24 hours and as fun as that has been.... it's not over just yet.

While there is also 2 weeks left in my official off season, I can return to activity .... today. With the lack of sleep due to work then sleep interrupted by meetings at school and a little one sent home with a fever + trip to the pediatrician + teaching 2 yoga classes this evening + a meeting with Ja Boon........ today was a functional strength training day for me.

I have done 100 mile rides after having been awake for 27+ hours..... Kelly B can attest to that. Calling it a magic carpet ride might not even do that justice. I'm half wondering if I should alert my yoga classes tonight that their super zen instructor has had so much coffee today, if she were drug tested she would prove to be positive for an illegal amount of caffeine. Nah..... I will let them enjoy the sleep deprived doped up version of me (which is code word for very hard class tonight gang...).

Tuesday will be my first run since Longhorn, which was my only real land run for a few weeks before that. My bike arrived safely last Friday and packed within was my new pair of running shoes, completely covered in dirt / mud from Texas.

Tomorrow morning in the crisp cold I shall run, and I can't wait. The cold air will feel good in my lungs. The pain is absent and I know it will remain so. The ground beneath my feet shall feel like home again.

I know that we would never understand what good days were unless we had bad ones. In many ways I am grateful for the tough days, the ones with my heavy heart. This way the small life that was only with us for those 9 short weeks is honored, respected and hopefully understands that it was so very loved.