The Breaking Point

Last night I sat down on a bench in Wegmans. It was late, it was dark, it was raining and I wanted to take a nap. With my cart full of groceries I wanted to take a nap. For the first time since this Ironman Florida block began, I felt spent.

But I also knew I was feeling spent because of the two hours of sleep I had gotten the previous night. Pile a long bike and a swim on top of that, a day full of stuff and the world will crash down on you at some point.

I was so tired. I have not been this tired in so very long. I wanted to skip the next round of training. And again I reminded myself I felt this way from sleep. Lack of it.

And then a thought came to mind.

How far are you willing to go? It made me smile.

As far as I have to. I stood up. I took a deep breath. This is what it is going to take Mary. It's going to take this level of pain, this level of fatigue, this level of wanting it so damn bad. And no one can forge through it but me. Not Curt, not Coach T. So I do not whine to them. This is me myself and I.

Rest is coming next week. It'll be a moderate week cuz coach T don't dare say the word recover. Big Balance is almost done and I am in the home stretch.

Tomorrow I know I will feel so different. But today I know this much.....

We have to get weaker before we get stronger,

We have to become unhinged before we get put back together

We have to fall down in order to learn balance.

This is just the breaking point.

The deeper I dig now, the deeper I will know I can dig when I need to.

The more fatigue I handle now, the more I can handle on race day.

The more hits I take now, the more I will be able to take.

And at the bottom of it all, I am still aware that this is a privilege not a right. A blessing not a demand. Know that at the bottom of this all, I am so grateful to have this chance.

Thank you for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers