mary eggers is about to get sharked

"Hello God....... is that YOU?" It still makes me laugh, just thinking about it. Ryan tells it best. His day at Ironman Florida 2007, the day he coined the phrase "I sharted myself" and came apart at the seams a bit. So much so that when Mike Riley announced his name as he crossed the finish line...... he thought it was the voice of God himself.

Some people equate the voice of God to Morgan Friedman. For us triathletes..... it's Mike Riley.

I wish I had known Ryan a year ago, because I was out there too, but I was having the day of my life.

Now in a little over a week my husband will be toeing the line and for the first time in 10 years, I will be taking a vacation that does not involve me racing or training. Of course I will train, it's the ocean for heaven's sakes. But this time it's all him.

Through my site meter I have noticed that a lot of people have been googling his name. Kind of makes me laugh. The guy has certainly proven himself on the short course field throughout his life. Forever on the All American list, always on the Inside Tri list..... National Champion, you name it. Short course is his thing. The last time the guy did a 1/2 Ironman he did it in 4:20.

His Ironman record isn't the greatest..... according to him. I mean he's only done Kona. And walked half the marathon to an 11:06. Canada 2001 was his second, walked about 18 miles to a 12:05. He hated the long training. Once he called me collect to come and pick him up during his long run.

So it really was not hard for me to go 10:58 last year in Florida and claim the title of the "Household's Fastest Ironman." With everything else he's accomplished, can I just have something?

I remember sitting at the Waffle House the morning after IMFL, intending to eat the world but only having the appetite for toast and coffee from my favorite mug. I remember him asking me how I felt and how it felt out there. And what time did registration open.

HUH?

He told me he'd just take a voucher.

Then back at home ironically the last day to claim your voucher was the day that Kona was televised. As we watched I pretended to do work on my laptop. I was really typing in his information. As soon as the credits began to roll I asked him what he thought.

"Kind of makes me want to give it another try." He admitted.

"Good" I told him. "I just hit submit." If that didn't mean he had an Ironman in a year he might have asked for a divorce.

Curt built his year as he's always built it. Raced a lot, head to Portland where he earned himself another age group bronze medal. And he's slowly trended his training volume upwards. In 99 and 01 he didn't follow good nutrition during the Ironman. Man's had to teach himself how to eat 300 calories an hour and take salt. The nutrition is what held him back before.....

We just didn't know. I was actually able to give him some help and help him realize..... I know this is a shocker..... you need calories to be strong in the Ironman.

And then..... this is where it was crazy. While I was in Texas he texted me. "I just rode the IMFL course on the Computrainer. It seems hilly on the CT."

WHAT?

You rode the IMFL course? I texted back.

Yes. He replied. I needed to get it done before Luc woke up. He had ridden 5:15 inside, covered 112 miles, and ran on the treadmill afterwards. When I got home as he told the story he told me he got bored the last 10 miles so he rode them hard.

Apparently when I get bored with things my approach isn't quite the same.

"I am dead." I told my Texan friends that morning. "My Ironman record isn't going to get broken, it's going to get freaking shattered."

See that picture over on the right hand side? The one where Curt's head is in the shark's arm? read the caption above it. In a little over a week we will be returning to that store and I will be sticking my head through the shark's arm.

Because Mary Eggers is about to get sharked. Taken to school. The bus is coming down the street and I can hear it. And you know what? I am pretty excited about it. It's so damn cool when you can watch the person you love and admire hit their best. Will it be his best? I think so. I have never seen him more prepared. I have never seen him so relaxed. I have never seen him enjoy the training so much. It has been refreshing to see someone take such a relaxed and casual approach to this Ironman stuff. Never panicing, never freaking out. Just putting one foot in front of the other. Day after day after day.

The Ironman and I may have divorced, maybe Ironman has moved onto Curt. At least for now. I am happy to give that relationship up.

Please email me or leave me a comment if you are competing at Ironman Florida. Luc and I will be at the Days Inn at mile five of the bike course. We will make a sign for you and scream our little brains out.

We will be somewhere on the run, but please let us make signs and scream for you. For once I get to sit along the sidelines, drink myself a brew-ha-ha, swim in the ocean and stay up late watching Ironman athletes achieve their dreams!!!!!

eyes wide shut

Today is a good day. I think. I am so damn sleep deprived that when I tell myself it is a good day I believe it. But I could also tell myself just about anything right now and I'd believe it. Conversations with myself are fun.

Perhaps it was appropriate to unload the 83 pound bowling ball I have been carrying around with me ..... into blogland...... kind of send it out there...... because note to self: ut was a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy. Thank you so much for the hugs and support. I will never be able to convey to you how much it meant. Thank you isn't even enough.

Now.... let's review. Training is what we triathletes call exercise..... it's like our code word. It's like calling a runner a jogger. Training (exercise) reduces stress. Physiologically proven! So my two week break has officially ended. I have however been awake for over 24 hours and as fun as that has been.... it's not over just yet.

While there is also 2 weeks left in my official off season, I can return to activity .... today. With the lack of sleep due to work then sleep interrupted by meetings at school and a little one sent home with a fever + trip to the pediatrician + teaching 2 yoga classes this evening + a meeting with Ja Boon........ today was a functional strength training day for me.

I have done 100 mile rides after having been awake for 27+ hours..... Kelly B can attest to that. Calling it a magic carpet ride might not even do that justice. I'm half wondering if I should alert my yoga classes tonight that their super zen instructor has had so much coffee today, if she were drug tested she would prove to be positive for an illegal amount of caffeine. Nah..... I will let them enjoy the sleep deprived doped up version of me (which is code word for very hard class tonight gang...).

Tuesday will be my first run since Longhorn, which was my only real land run for a few weeks before that. My bike arrived safely last Friday and packed within was my new pair of running shoes, completely covered in dirt / mud from Texas.

Tomorrow morning in the crisp cold I shall run, and I can't wait. The cold air will feel good in my lungs. The pain is absent and I know it will remain so. The ground beneath my feet shall feel like home again.

I know that we would never understand what good days were unless we had bad ones. In many ways I am grateful for the tough days, the ones with my heavy heart. This way the small life that was only with us for those 9 short weeks is honored, respected and hopefully understands that it was so very loved.

heartbreak

Please forgive me, but today is a hard day.

I have debated on whether to write or not about this. It's not really a topic some would find appropriate for blogland..... maybe more appropriate for a therapist. But what if I can say something that you can identify with, maybe you have been through this same thing? What if you have felt this sort of pain?

I write because it is what I do. It's who I am, it's how I express myself. I write because we are all in this together, in reality.

As I look back on my 2008 season I am proud of what I accomplished. I overcame many things and I kept my spirit high. I fought through a lot. I endured a lot. I also encountered the heartbreak of my life. It's taken me almost 3 months to come to terms with it, and I can't even say that I have come to terms with it. It's been hard on my heart. Hard on my mind.

Two days after Ironman Lake Placid I learned that I was pregnant. Yeah, I was just as shocked as you are.

8.5 weeks to be exact.

Surprise and happiness were very short lived as we soon determined this pregnancy wasn't viable. We had to end it on July 31st which was absolutely, unequivocally the worst and most painful day of my whole entire life.

As I thought back on the previous eight weeks, so many things had made sense that I had simply overlooked. The way I felt. Missing periods. But honestly sometimes that rolls into Ironman training.

I remembered how horrible and flat I felt at Quakerman. How tired I was at camp.

And I was horrified that I had done all of this training, all of this to my body while I was carrying a child. Training was not the reason this pregnancy wasn't going to make it. But I will always wonder.

How could I not know I was that far along?

Well, now for the second time in my life I have made it possible for birth control to say that it is 99% effective. Plus with my history periods aren't always regular. Ironman training makes you tired. Sure I was more tired than normal but ..... I had done 2 IM's in a year.

The guilt, the horror, the pain and the heartbreak were so overwhelming. They still are. The only one who can even possibly understand what this has felt like.... is me. I have shared with some, some of you. Sometimes it is just about letting it out. You can only carry around so much pain. But it's been like a weight I carry all alone. All by myself.

I layed on the couch and stared at the ceiling for almost 2 weeks during that time. All I could do was cry. My training, moving is what has helped me the most. It goes back to what I was talking about the other day. Moving.... exercise has "proven physiological benefits". It gave me fresh air. It gave me a place to be. It gave me a place to cry because in all honesty...... crying is what helps in times like these.

I can't erase it. I can't erase the pain. Some days are good days. Other days.... the days when I think..... what if..... what if..... what if...... who was this little person...... what would they have been like...... those are the days that rip me up. That pull my heart right through my body and throw it on the ground.

The physical pain of the whole experience was shattering. And as shattering as that was it was pale in comparison to the pain I carry around right now in my heart.

That was why I was so intent on going to Texas, despite having crashed my bike. Despite all I have been through. I needed a get away. I needed the sun. I needed to be with friends. I needed a starting line, I needed a finish line. Every step along the way I thought about the baby I lost. A girl.... a boy...... who they could have been and what they could have been. What I could have done differently.... and while they tell me there was nothing..... I will always wonder.

In many ways it was therapeutic for me to go to Texas. In all honesty I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and cry myself to death. It was actually in all honesty the one and only time in my life where I thought..... I wish I was dead.

Then, my seven year old little boy came up to me on the last day that I was on the couch. He asked me if I wanted to shoot hoops with him outside. I said yes, primarily because I felt so guilty for what he had been witnessing, and for trying so hard to keep it all in.

We went outside and we shot hoops. For over an hour. I don't think we said anything. But every time we made baskets we'd high five.

Of every single person in my life, Luc is who helped me the most through this painful experience. He didn't say anything magical, and while he didn't know what was going on.... he knew something was wrong. He got me outside, and he got me moving. He couldn't say anything to take away the pain and the heartache and the feeling of sadness. He couldn't do one single thing.

But be there. Spend time with me. Enjoy the moment. Be a family. And I coudln't allow the pain I was feeling, am feeling..... to cause me to overlook the one most magical thing I have right in front of me. My son.

I learned that you don't always have to say something to help someone through a tragedy. You can send flowers and say words...... but nothing replaces hugs. Nothing replaces time spent with someone you love.

They say this kid has problems. They are trying to tell me he is learning disabled.

I think this is a kid who lives from his heart. I think this is a kid who knows how to live authentically. I think this is a kid who knows the true meaning of love.

Love, that's what is ultimately going to heal this pain.

putting the F back in FUN

Here is my brother Chris and my nephew Cameron sledding last Christmas Day.... can you tell my brother lives in Georgia? A WOOL COAT AND A BORROWED SCARF???? Talk about lack of winter gear.

Saturday morning I got out of bed early and I noticed something I haven't noticed in a while. C.O.L.D. Yes, it's fall here in upstate New York and it's a good 40 degrees in the morning. The beautiful thing about Upstate is the changing seasons, with changing seasons comes adapting to cold. It takes a few weeks but we do it. It means bringing out the winter gear.

Surviving winter is about 2 things...... winter gear and finding an outdoor hobby.

When winter descends upon us there are people who head out and play and there are people who hide inside, in gyms, or not even that.

Snow is fun and it's almost a crime to spend winter inside. We still need fresh air, we still need sunlight. We still need the outdoors. If you have the right gear the outdoors completely rocks.

We have downhill skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, cross country skiing, snowshoeing and even sledding. We have a great snowshoe race series. I haven't snowshoed in 2 years because I was so darn focused on training and not wanting to deviate from the schedule and "the plan". Not this year.

This year I will be out on snowshoes and I will be racing at Frozen Assets for sure! I will break out the Cross Country Skis! I will continue to teach Luc how to snowboard.

Those are all great endurance activities.

Erik Grimm is an incredible athlete around here. He's done Hawaii a few times, he adventure races, he does a bunch of stuff. I'd be neglectful if I didn't mention Carl Johnston, Grimm's partner in crime. These guys compliment their training with a lot of cross training. In the summer they are found at various triathlons, come winter they are found racing at cross country ski events. Grimm recently began trying his hand at Cyclo Cross. They are incredibly well rounded athletes and at the age of 40+ give the boys around here one serious run for their money.

This is Travis Early, myseld and Carl Johnston at a road race last year. Johnston just recently switched from wearing speedos to "tri shorts".

They stray far from the swim-bike-run, and it shows. They are healthy, they are having fun, and they try just about anything.

I often pick on Johnston (because it is really really fun) and I hate to say it, but he's right. I need to get out there and have more fun. So this winter I shall be doing just that.

Monday I get to start some regular activities. Much of this past 2 weeks was taking complete rest. It's seemed like it has lasted forever. I have been walking, done a bit of swimming (and I can flip turn again!), sporadic functional strength, and teaching a few spinning classes. I have been mostly been resting. Believe me that is so much harder than anything.

This week will be about limiting my zeros, but keeping things light, keeping things unstructured and most of all..... keeping it FUN! Two more weeks to go......

beginning

To create a plan, a year, a season I like to start with goals. What is it exactly that I would like to accomplish this season? I have three levels of goals: the big, the medium and the small.

The Big: This list entails my ultimate goals for the season. Something big that I can constantly look up to. For 2009 I have the following Goals:

1. Sub 5 hour 1/2 Ironman at Gulf Coast, Musselman and 70.3 Worlds. Now...... there were so many years I never went over 5. In actuality this should be an easy goal for me to attain. But through a series of circumstance and.... whatever..... it has eluded me. Within this goal I have the big goal of figuring out this distance.

2. 1:40 1/2 Marathon this spring. Again, there were many years I ranged between 1:39-1:44. I haven't focused on this distance, so this is a realistic goal for me. I also wish do do the same within my 1/2 Ironman performances.

Now there are a few goals that I have not quite whittled down yet to look pretty, but those will be added to the big list.

The medium list: this contains smaller goals which are stepping stones to my bigger goals.

1. Swimming: At the Ironman distance I am a swimming slacker. So my goal is to maximize my strength with actual tracking of my T time and progression with my Masters team through the season.

2. Cycling: Continue to increase my FTP and my ability to pace myself while racing, by continuing to train with my power meter.

3. Running: continue to evolve as a runner. With the Jack Daniels V Dot program I became good at running frequently and consistently at certain paces. Now that Ironman is over I shall be focusing on getting faster through the same system. I will be using winter and spring 5 and 10K races to help me toughen up in the speed department. I'd like to get to a 20 min 5K and maybe even below!

4. Continue the evolution of good nutrition. Get down to a lighter weight more appropriate for 70.3 and speed, through proper wholefood nutrition.

5. Avoid injuries by curing my allergy to gravity, and being honest with myself and my body.

The small goals: these goals are almost my weekly goals and they change all of the time. They help in attaining my medium goals which help me attain my big goals. For example my goals for this wee were:

1. Practice yoga every day as I continue my off season


2. Good Nutrition (adhering to TriGirl Pink's challenge)


3. Get enough rest


4. No structured training. Walk and relax.

I have laid out my Annual Training Plan (ATP) and began to structure my basic week. I have configured my four weeks of transition period to begin on November 3rd. I have penciled in some test dates beginning in December. The protocol I will be using for test sets and my tentative progression has been printed out. My new daily log has been created as well.

I have to admit that I am really excited to see what I can do with myself. I am really excited for the opportunity. My continued rehabilitation is going really well, I am down to once a week at the chiropractor, I am at a level 1 pain (I can't believe this has lasted a month.... which is really short when it comes to injuries actually....) and next week I shall go for 3 short runs!!!!!

Onward!

intention

Another pretty swim helmet photo!

Over the past week, since I have stated my intention to coach myself... people have gone into some kind of frenzy. I have gotten dozens of emails. How do I plan to do this? What made me decide to do this? Did something happen with Coach T?

SCANDAL!

Calm the heck down. Nothing happened. Coach T is a man who is pursuing another degree, works full time, is a husband and is the father of three children under the age of 5. I felt it time to alleviate some of his stress, and apply everything I have learned. When the man finishes all that he has going on he will devote time to his coaching..... and I will be first in line. The man's one hell of a coach. And a teacher. He's taught me so much.

There once was a time when us coaches were not a dime a dozen. When athletes coached themselves. My husband has coached himself all his life. Not too bad.

Now as a coach I realize I am preaching some dangerous things. It is my philosophy however that if you want it, you can learn a lot from a coach, There may be a time... if it is something that interests you...... there may be a time when you can apply what you have learned..... to you.

For hours every single week I scrutinize power files, data files, comments.... I track daily parameters, think about seasons...... carefully piece together weeks for my athletes. I stopped doing that for me because I let my coach do it all.

This might sound odd to say...... but I miss myself. I miss tracking my own progress. I miss planning my own workouts, I miss reading my own power files.

Now why would one even need a coach? There are a lot of great reasons to hire a coach. First, coaches can alleviate the stress of planning for you. You have a busy life, we can plan and build and evolve your season for you and with you. We can be completely objective. We are a source of support, we look out for you, fill you with motivation, celebrate your accomplishments and accept your defeats. We love watching you be your best better than our own. We love your finish lines more than ours.

We cherish the relationships we develop with our athletes. We care.

I can do that for myself. I have been around long enough, I am very honest with myself and I can be very objective with myself.

And I will walk you through everything I do. Maybe you can learn something from me. I tell my athletes that I have barfed on the rocks so many times.... meaning I have made so many mistakes..... that every mistake I make is one less they will make. Quite possibly you will be able to do the same.

Maybe at some point in your life self coaching is for you too. Maybe you just enjoy working with a coach. I certainly do. It's a personal decision. But like I said before..... I miss watching my own progress. I miss tracking myself, checking in with myself and being the boss of me.

So stay aboard, this will be a fun ride, I guarantee!

bridging the gap

As a coach I often see athletes with amazing potential. I see athletes with goals that fit them, are appropriate and are a challenge.

Athletic potential and Great Goals.

What's missing? Bridging them together.

I once knew an athlete who had just this. The potential. The Goal. Yet they consistently failed to bridge the gap between the two. So many things just got in the way. Working overtime, family crisis, etc. The problem is...... those additional things were not new factors, they were old factors. They had always been present within their life. They just allowed the volume on those stressors to be turned up every so many weeks to a point to where it was damn near crippling. And as a coach I do what I can to help this person bridge this gap. Most of the time I am successfull. Other times I am met with the most famous three letter word. BUT. But this..... but that...... all I know is the more buts you give me the more sh** I see.

I coached a different athlete in a similar situation. The ability. The goals, and they did in fact bridge the gap between them. They worked more than anyone I had ever met and at the same time was very involved with their family. The volume of the stress in their life was sometimes so loud I could hear it through the screen.

However...... they got in their training, granted with their schedule it wasn't like they were smacking down 20 hour weeks. As Gordo would say, this athlete had a minimum number of "zeros" in their weeks.

What's the difference? The second athlete didn't allow the volume of their life stress cripple them. They accepted it as part of their life and rolled with it. They made sure that something was done each day, and the motivation was more health and stress relief than it was performance. Performance happened to be the bonus along the way.

I am going to tell you something you might need to sit down for. Are you ready? Listen up......

LIFE IS HARD.

My Dad always used to tell me that. His next statement would always be: and it gets worse. So find a way to deal with it.

That might sound harsh, but he was right. Life is definitely hard. Many of us like to play whose life is harder..... which is the game I love to hate.

There is divorce, custody issues, illness, finances....... and those are just a few. You know those people who just roll over it and take it as it comes. And then there are the people who worry. Who neglect themselves and their training because they are sick with worry.

Here is where training becomes more important. Not because you set a goal to do X,Y, or Z race...... but training is what we triathletes call...... E.X.E.R.C.I.S.E. Exercise is good for you. Exercising has proven physiological benefits....... one of them being stress relief...... and that is why it becomes important if not vital.

I have yet to find one single person who has solved any problem through worrying. If you have, please let me know. Worrying helps nothing. Of course if you have $18,000 in debt that doesn't mean walk through life with a carefree and fancy free flippant attitude.

But, maybe it does. Create a plan to get out of it. There are steps, there are ways. Create it, adhere to it, be consistent with it...... and let go of the worry. Worrying isn't going to grow dollars on trees. Worrying isn't going to make it go away faster. Skipping training (our code word for exercise) will eventually turn that worry into illness.

Triathlon, training, exercise is an outlet for stress. Triathlon and competition is a great outlet for many of us. We are able to channel energy into positive places. It feels good to go hard, it feels good to accomplish a goal.

Every year in Kona we hear about the stories of ordinary people achieving the extraordinary. Not the people who are the professionals, the others.

The single parents who do have debt and do work 60 hours a week. Who get in their training at super early o'clock and don't have time for ultra workouts. The people who have faced odds that are unbearable to even think about, while maintaining their position as head of households, and they too get it done. The countless stories of people who face magnificent challenges in their lives to achieve a goal.

No wonder an Ironman finish line is such a place of emotion.

Watch a local sprint triathlon. The same people exist there as well, it just doesn't get televised because it is only a sprint triathlon. There too you will find people of all shapes and sizes achieving goals on limited time, limited this, limited that.

They achieve their goal because they are consistent and they don't allow things like stress and worry to overtake them. They might not train 15 hours a week but they limit their zeros. They realize that, yes they do always have time for a 20 minute run. Too tired? How about a 20 minute walk. 20 minutes of walking can give you the same stress relief and it is better than a zero.

Because a lot of zeros will give you an ulcer.

I think of that athlete who fails to fins a bridge to possibility and the goal. The power is so completely in their hands. Letting go of the expectation that this will be a smooth ride is paramount. Letting go of comparisons such as...... well that person trains more than me, but I have no time..... critical. Realizing that worrying and fretting about the difficulties of life is pointless....... is really really important.

We all are in this sport because we choose to be. Not because it is our right. It is our privilege. If your stress volume is so high right now that you find many zeros in your week..... then it is time to reevaluate. Possibly change the goal. Definitely change the approach. But remember the most important thing...... life will always be hard....... it is how we choose to deal with it that matters.