love this life

As I sit here at Train-This Headquarters and look out the window I see the word DISMAL. Wind blowing, the threat of snow. Beautifully colored leaves but a grey grey sky. Dismal. In 2 days I will be on the beach.

With this guy....

And this view....

And this guy too.....

In moments like this I can feel it brewing. So much to get done between now and then. But when we feel the jerk of the plane as we go from non motion to speeding down the runway I will get to leave everything behind me.

Everything behind me? That sounds like I have some impossible life. I don't. I have a very blessed life with wonderful people who I have amazing connections with. Through work, through play, through the blogosphere.

On Friday Luc and I will be trick or treating in Panama City Beach. On Friday I will take Danni swimming in the ocean. She's never swam in the ocean!!!! I have a vision of fear and excitement for her. It will be awesome.

On Saturday by the time Curt hits the run we will be hanging with the Memphis girls at mile one of the run. I might wear my own race number because it will be easier for you to see me than for me to see you. In any case I will be wearing red and pink flowered board shorts and a black top. Maybe everyday I will wear that. On the beach I will be dressed as Texas. My name is on my butt, don't be shy.

On race day I will be cheering. And I will be holding my breath all day long for every single one of you. I know how it feels.

The week where too much time has become too little time. The week where waiting becomes the norm. Waiting in airports. Waiting in line. Waiting for the sound of the cannon.

You've put a lot into November 1st. You've dreamt about it and you have worried about it. Feel the energy that you feel right now and soak it up. Let it course through you because energy is life. Life is what you have, and this is what will carry you all day long.

Get your feet up. Get your shine on everyone..... because Saturday is your day to shine!

running camp

Sarah and I after a long run this summer......

Running camp began this week ...... right at the moment I reached out and grabbed it. Like I said yesterday... you almost have to wait for that moment to come. It came through cold and rain and while I was out there running I decided. It was time for running camp to begin.

Part of this year's journey, now that I have learned how to run, is to become a faster runner. You might remember that for the better part of 2 years my focus was on Ironman running, which meant E paced running as defined by the world's number one running Coach Jack Daniels.

What is all this V Dot talk? It's a system. It helps if you have a Garmin, but I advise you to not get a Garmin if you are freaked out by numbers or one of those people who gets obsessive about it. I am the type of athlete who can read and also ignore my Garmin without emotion. This thing could fall off of me and I would only be upset because it was expensive. By using it I have learned my paces. I am not defined by it.

So let us begin in the beginning. To understand the V dot system, actually to understand any training methodology you need to have a basic understanding of physiology and training. It's not that hard. There are a lot of great articles out there. There are a few who write in a fashion that is simple and to the point about the basics and even about more.

References you are going to want to check out are: (and there are absolutely more, I just like this group. Also note that Trevor Syversen of TMS Multisports would be on this list if he actually PUBLISHED something.... he's awesome)

Gordo Byrn
Rich Strauss
Paulo Sousa
Chuckie V (some people disagree with this choice, but the guy is hilarious!)
The Science of Sport

And my favorite Jack Daniels. In fact here is a good article from a great site written by him:
http://www.coacheseducation.com/endur/jack-daniels-june-00.htm

What I do is I read an article, I put it away and I allow it to soak in. I often think about it during my next run or ride.

Back to V Dot. To oversimplify (understand by doing the reading, don't just go out and do something……) the process, you begin with a recent race time. For me…… a 5K.

21:10, somewhere around there. I will use this number because it's been where I have been running since the summer. This number gives me a V dot of 46. Based on this V dot JD set up paces for various runs. Now these names paces and definitions are designed by JD, as I will incorrectly reference them I am sure: (and here is a great site for V dot calculating). Important lesson here: never run at a V Dot you have not earned. Unless you want to be injured.

E pace; Easy pace. HR is 65-79% and quantity is lesser of 25% weekly mileage.

M Pace; Marathon Pace. HR is 80-90% and quantity is lesser of 90 minutes.

T pace: Threshold pace. HR is 88-92% lesser of 10% weekly mileage.

There are 2 faster paces, but we will save that for later.

My E pace is about 9:00-9:10 minute miles. When I first saw that I thought, holy cow, that's waaaay too slow! But I trusted it, I did it and I am able to run every single day at this pace. Running slower forced me to develop a higher cadence run, forcing me to land on my midfoot and forcing me to run more efficiently. When I run e pace I can sing happy birthday, I feel like I am going …. as Training Peaks would call it…. embarrassingly slow, best alone.

The benefits of running E pace are that you develop your aerobic foundation (that's putting it really really simply). You learn to run more efficiently. (Saves you $$ on Newtons) and by running more efficiently you will avoid injury. I can run E pace in my sleep, and when I am in pain. E pace is also the pace that many hold during an Ironman marathon. Rich Strauss and his friends have come up with what I think it a gorgeous system for power pacing on the bike and V dot pacing on the run for an Ironman!

Now….. of course if all you do is run E pace you will do nothing but run E pace. (Like me). Just as if I go out and run 6:45 miles for every run of every day I will get injured. During this phase of the year, during running camp, the goal is to build durability and endurance.

So I am officially in running camp. 30 runs in 30 days. All E pace. 90% of these runs are 30 minutes. The goal: to run every day. To do this requires a brutal sense of honesty with myself. I have that. I have been through enough injuries to know whether I should run through something or I should not. And not to worry I will keep you updated.

The real magic will come down the road. When the running foundation is super solid and we can get into T pace and even I pace runs. The E pace is the cake. A good solid chocolate cake. Those other paces are the icing.

Skeptical? Don't worry; it's worked for thousands of runners. It has worked for me for over a year. Now that the focused has shifted, we shift too.

Lastly……. what do you do if you don't have a Garmin? There are a few good systems based on heart rate, take a look around. The thing to remember is that one system doesn't work for everyone. Many opt for the no gadget at all system, which is a great system to follow! As I said before I happen to be someone who can be very causal about my gadgets. I can get lost in the pure beauty of a run through the forest and occasionally check my pace. I don't care how far I run I only care about time right now. If the battery dies the battery dies. Don't be owned by these things, you'll go mad.

These gadgets and numbers teach us how to read out bodies. They often time slow us down. I think the real magic in them is when you attain the same feeling without looking, and realize you nailed it. That right there is when you know you've got it!

So welcome to running camp. I am looking forward to the runs I will be doing in Florida. The sun, the warm, the sand. It's all good medicine.

So read up campers and feel free to shoot me some good references that you might have. I am a sponge, and I like to read. Especially when I am hanging at the beach. Watching an Ironman. With Ironman friends. In the sun.

Yes friends....... there is thing called the sun....... I have heard much about it......

the urge

It happens when you've taken a proper off-season. You wake up in the morning in a sea of unstructure. Only faced with the challenge of no zeros for the week. You begin to reach for it again.

The season behind you is finally behind you. With all of it's glory and so much of it's heartbreak. Those are the lessons that make us stronger. We learn from tripping more than we learn from never falling down. Smiles replace tears as you recount what you remember of the concussion. The dazed and confused feeling finally shaken. The sorrow and grief of a life you loved so briefly healing. Slowly healing.

While I heard the rain falling on the roof I looked out the window and through the grey skies and the cold air I saw beauty. Leaves of all colors. Many on the ground. The inviting road. I don't' care how cold it is..... the road always seems to call me.

One bike on the trainer.... one still in the box..... another lent to a friend. Biking? Not just yet. I want to run. So I ran.

Just because I dream of the sun doesn't mean that wearing a skirt and a t shirt is warm enough when the thermometer reads 42 degrees. Then again, maybe it is? My first run back felt nothing short of glorious. It reminded me that the bad days remind me to treasure the good days.

What I treasure most however is the feeling. The feeling of beginning again. Yes it was hard this year but if it were easy would I even be here? Would it awaken that spirit within me that wants to know .... if I have what it takes?

I treasure the feeling of privilege, because this ability and how I define it is a privilege and not a right. I choose to do this, I was not drafted into any event. I choose to sign up with my own free will. Reminding myself of that makes it all feel richer. All feel sweeter.

I remember the excruciating pain I experienced after my bike crash on September 11th. I remember how hard it was to walk. I remember tears in Curt's eyes as he watched the train wreck finally happen.

I know that day happened for a reason. There were a lot of lessons to be learned this season and I will not forget them, even though they might not be defined today. I still learned and I still grew. I still was able to answer the call as to why I am even on this path to begin with.

I am here because I can be. I am here because I want to be. I am here because of those moments in training or in racing..... those moments when it becomes that hard. It becomes so hard that I begin to think....... help...... help...... help.

And then I realize one important thing. That help..... is not on the way. That this comes from me, a place deep within me. The place that wonders what if, the place that wonders if I can, if I have it anymore, if I am over or if I am just beginning again. I find that feeling of beginning again and I realize the person I think I am is no match for the one I truly am.

In 2002 I puked through 13 miles of Ironman Lake Placid. Curt would ride his mountain bike about 100 yards in front of me and clap as I stumbled by. He'd ride ahead again and clap while I stumbled by. I remember asking him to help me. Please anyone help me.

He smiled and he kept clapping. He said a very important thing to me. He said:

"Suck it up buttercup."

By not helping me he helped me. By not giving in he gave to me. By not allowing me empathy he made me find strength.

Remember ....... do not ever forget...... our sport is a metaphor for our life. Remember the first time you ran one mile and thought it was your last? Then you did it again. Then 2 then 3. remember that first contraction when you had your baby? You thought the world would end but you endured another and then another. Remember when you were rejected for a job or a relationship or (insert your experience here)....... and you kept coming back, kept looking, kept putting one foot in front of the other.

Because eventually..... eventually the steps would form a walk. And the walk formed a run. Somewhere in the midst of that run you felt it unlock inside of you. Like a gate was opened and you were set free. In this experience you learned what you couldn't' learn in Psychology 101.

You learned that you are never afraid to try. You learned you are not afraid to fail. You learned that failing happens, but losers never even try. You realized instantly which one you were.

You learned that you already.... right this very moment.... have everything you have ever needed in your life. The external goals....... were already inside of you. So you turned on the light and you let them shine out.

So you keep your shine on. Shine it brightly.

Remember..... it all begins with an urge.

Top Ten Curt Eggers Facts

As written by one of my Train-This Teammates, in honor of Curt's Ironman next week!

THE TOP TEN CURT EGGERS FACTS:

01 Curt Eggers' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Curt Eggers counted to infinity - twice.

03 Curt Eggers does not race because the word racing infers the probability of failure. Curt Eggers goes winning.

04 If you can see Curt Eggers, he can see you. If you can't see Curt Eggers you are only seconds away from being passed.

05 Curt Eggers sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled triathlon speed. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Curt roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman and (insert competitor name here) go to sleep every night they check their closet for Curt Eggers.

07 Curt Eggers built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Curt met all three bullets with his rock-hard abs, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08 Curt Eggers has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Curt Eggers toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh** from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Curt Eggers' shoe. Curt replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Curt Eggers, national champion!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Curt Eggers' massive leg.

world's biggest leafbox

Does that look say fall, or what? Too bad we will be trading it in a week for Panama City Beach. Nothing says it's Ironman Florida time like Halloween. You Memphis girls better have some trick or treats for a Scary Skeleton on Halloween!!!

My goals in Florida are this:

• Drink one beer every day. And not crap beer. Guiness.


• Swim in the ocean every day


• play Frisbee on the beach with Luc


• boogie board with Luc.... hopefully surf. Nothing says NEW YORKER like sucking at surfing.


• Build ridiculous sandcastles


• Be a Mom, A Wife.... and what's Elizabeth call it..... Spectathlete?

I have to go prepare.

hitting rock bottom

I don't know what we are doing in this picture, but that's me, Kim and Ja Boon in Texas!

I am mortified to say that I gave in. I joined FaceBook. Or is it Facebook. I blame it on the fact that I spent 12 hours in a classroom yesterday. Yes, 12 hours. Give me 140.6 miles to cover and I will, untrained and backwards before I enjoy sitting in a class for 12 hours. I'm a girl that needs fresh air and a whole lot of it.

One of the wonderful side effects of sustaining a grade 2 concussion at Ironman Lake Placid this year are the repercussions. I have had what I suspect to be a migraine maybe once in my life. That was a year ago traveling home form Germany on the airplane. I puked my guts out. What's worse than being sick? Puking on an airplane. Midway through an 8 hour flight. In a small airplane crossing the Atlantic. And the barf bag breaks so your hurl goes all over you.

Suddenly..... you become that girl. Whoever made those crap bags should be shot. Especially when I filled about 10 of them.

The 16 year old kid sitting with us was horrified.

So was customs when I barfed my way through there. And then security. Nothing passes you through GO while collecting your $200 like vomit.

I will have to remember that next time I fly to Europe.

Anyhow....... for 12 hours yesterday I absorbed what I could, the class is actually really interesting.... I had my laptop so Amy Mo and Kim kept me company through emails. And so did Ja Boon. I had a terrible headache and had to visit the bathroom to barf on the rocks a few times. U.G.H.

The most enlightening statement of the day was how Boon predicted Curt's IM finish time. Numerology..... she said she learned it in med school. I can't reveal it till he's done. Then I will also tell you about the massive $$ pool we have going here at Train-This..... a little wager that Curt doesn't know about that will surely make one of us rich.

So if you are watching IM live and Curt is closer to their predicted time than mine.... turn away..... some freak girl might jump out and push him through or hold him hostage..... for a few minutes.

And of course I am avoiding the Facebook topic. I told you I'd never join and I am still not so sure. Within minutes I had a bunch of friends. I thought I was hot stuff when I reached 17 at minute five, and then I realized my sister in law.... had a few hundred.

A few hundred????

Great. I still won't be Homecoming Queen. Even on Facebook.

Names started popping up that I hadn't seen in a while. Fiends from years past. My biggest hesitation was that I didn't want anyone from high school to find me. None of those names have showed up yet. I was the sick eating disorder girl in high school..... I had great friends but it's a let me forget about that part of my life feeling.

But maybe that's what I need. I need to find that part of my life again. I need to stop avoiding those people. JILL: I lost your email when I changed emails..... send me another and an update on the girls and the baby!

Jill and I went to high school together. She found me on the news around here a few years ago. I allowed my life to get too darn busy and just seemed to never have the time to connect.

So whenever one of her beautiful girls falls off something..... I see her in the Peds ED. Last time I noticed she was pregnant again! How wonderful!

So maybe Facebook is my step to reconnecting to the people I have spent years trying to avoid. Why avoid? Not because of anything they did wrong..... but a part of my life that frightens me. Recovery is continual for kids like us..... but one mention of the words high school and I have an instant flashback of a time in my life that was horrible.

It's not horrible anymore. It's wonderful. So let me stand on this rock and take a look behind me. By doing a bit of that I found out my old friend Roy is a doctor in California and appears on some show called General Hospital at night (or something like that.)

So here I come FaceBook. I don't' know how to work it, and I can't see myself spending all day on it..... because I need fresh air. I have a whole day to get it, so I am going to take it!

And I still have not found my sister.

help...... and so great!

One of my favorite off-season habits is looking for new blogs to add to my blog roll. I have found a most amazing one and here is a quote that encapsulates just about everything so many of us feel when we get into the water. Now my problem is...... I can't find the blog!

HELP!

This is a great piece and is perhaps the most inspiring blog I have ever read. Please help me find him again!

********************************
"Quick: when was the last time you high-fived your Grandpa? Your mother? Your wife?


Not a hug, not an encouraging squeeze. A high-five. Containing a language all its own.


When bobbing around the water, waiting for the world to turn, with the music blaring and the crowds gathering and the mass of swimcaps all around - we are each of us a tiny universe. With a story, a purpose.


We each of us have somebody up there who's breath won't return until they see us safely out of the water. We each answer to something other than ourselves in answering why we are here. It is never a simple thing. And when you toe that line, in the instant before you step into the water to Take Your Mark, you are their ambassador. You represent everybody who believed, or doubted. Who showed up because of, or in spite of. You cross for everybody who hasn't crossed yet, who will one day, and who never would. And you can either pull that weight, or let it pull you.


Because if you know not suffering, or anger, or defeat; if you've never felt like you are more than who you are; if you've never asked yourself what you are truly made of - what absolutes live inside you, and resolved to discover what...well then, of course you'd never be interested in the first place.


It is a thing we all have in common out there - a determination, a requirement, to be Who We Are Instead.Yes, it is. It is that big of a deal. It is that hard. It really is. That's sort of the point.The rest are just details. The rest figures itself out. There's never a "good time". It's never going to ideally suit your universe.


You'll never think to yourself, "Geez, you know what I'm in the mood for? Madness."


It will always be hard, you will always have to work to find the balance, it will never make sense to everybody, often not even yourself. And that, too, is part of the journey, and part of the forging. If you have to talk yourself into it, then wait until your time comes. Until you're drawn in. Until the current takes you. But if you're just making excuses...well then. Life is short. Get in already."

**********************************************************

So so so well said.