freedom

Here's a scary skeleton from the beach!

Greetings from the Atlanta airport where CNN is confusing the heck out of me on the election results. Stop with the damn predictions already.... let the election just happen.

I got an invitation from my sister in law the other day to join Mammas for Obama.... and I had to decline. Sorry girlfriend I am a die hard republican. Funny how politics works these days.... I don't really get into debates over politics. To me it is your own internal set of values and ethics that determines who you are and what you believe in. It is not my job to judge you or persuade you but it is my job to accept you for who you are and whatever you believe in. That's why I am so proud to live in this country. If you consider me to be "insert your negative word here" just because I am red or blue...... then please.... move along. Move on to someone who cares to place silly judgements on people like that.

But we do that, don't we. We might judge someone based on their size, their ability or lack thereof. We may judge them because we consider them to be loud, or talkative, or ultra competitive. We judge people before and instead of taking the time to actually get to know them. Beyond words that they write or results that they produce.

It's interesting to me. I love to watch that happen.

I especially love when people judge me based on any factor before ever having a conversation with me. I stand back and I watch in amusement, because I realize that is their story, that is the story they created...... not mine.

And again, that's why I live in this country. That's why I salute the flag when I see it rise. That's why my hand is on my heart when I hear the National Anthem. That's why I know the words to the National Anthem.

Because...... I can.

As I can do that, I can also enjoy the freedom to rise above that kind of stuff.

As we know..... our lives, our families, our abilities as athletes...... they are all what we make of them. Don't worry about what others believe of you and your performance, you believe in it. You believe in your performance. You believe in the person in the mirror.

I find that those who like to lend judgement spend far too much time looking in your mirror than looking in their own. I also find that the people who react strongly and negatively to a quality that you posses...... because you reflect something within them that they aren't comfortable with.

So let it go. Just let it roll. Let people get mad that you are voting opposite what they believe. Let people think this or that because you had a slower race. Let people believe this or that about you because of "insert your quality here."

Enjoy being you. You only get to do this once so make sure you do it right from your heart.

So enjoy your right to vote today...... enjoy your right to choose...... enjoy your right to be red or blue..... enjoy your freedom to be the person that you are. Without limits and restrictions. Just freedom.

Now that's something to celebrate!

cloud nine

Or should I say cloud 9:55?

It's just so awesome to have been a part of Curt's journey. The man who has never quite hit his potential at the Ironman distance…. it was awesome to see him do it. He did every single step of it the "old school way". No HRM, no powermeter, no Garmin. Just perceived exertion and excel. That's all. He does admit that he can see how the Garmin would have been very helpful as he did spend the run slowing down. But I would take a 3:38 marathon slowing down any day.

I was proud of him in so many ways. I had parked us at the stripper house, which was at mile 1+ of the run. My athletes and especially Pelee were tracking him online and texting me with updates. I knew when he'd be coming and I knew how his splits were faring.

When I did the math after the first 13 miles I realized he could "Sh** the bed" run a 2 hour second lap and still break ten hours. Deep down inside of him, in the part that would never admit it to anyone…. I knew he wanted a sub ten hour finish. Yet like all other Ironman athletes he would never say it out loud. Something about Karma.

Tonight was the awards ceremony. By absolute chance I got to sit with Ryan and his family: Wife Melissa, daughter, mother and sister. It was an absolute highlight of this trip.

It has been funny; Curt has been finally putting faces to names from Blogland. Marit, Danni, Laura….. and then Ryan. In 2007 Ryan had a struggle of a day at Ironman Florida. Coined the term sharting…. was sure Mike Riley was in fact the voice of God and struggled his way to a 12 hour finish.

Well…… he did this race on Sunday in 9:31. 13th in the 30-34 age group. 1st Clydesdale by 90 minutes. At 6 feet a billion inches, and 220….. this guy is wicked strong. He's the age group version of Thunderbear. It was awesome to share in that celebration.

I cried when Curt finished last night and my eyes filled with tears when he got up on the stage.

He did turn down that slot to Kona. And I get it, I get why. He's been there…. done that. He loves his short course and signed up for Muskoka 70.3. He hopes to join me in Clearwater 2009. At this rate he should have no problem.

He's one hell of a decorated athlete. Throughout his career he's done a lot of things, made a lot of lists, excelled at the various distances he focuses on. I'm learning a lot form him.

And it will be my head in the Shark's arm tomorrow. For sure. In 2010 I will come back to this race and I will have at it again. I don't know why but I love this race. I love Panama City Beach. I love this time of year.

We spent the day in the ocean. Met some great people. Saw stingrays. Danni swam her first ocean swim and experienced the thrill of ocean sickness. Marit scoped for sharks. Luc demonstrated a natural ability for riding the waves.

I continued running camp along the beach. Monday is the official start date of my 2009 season and how appropriate. Ironman inspires me.

In the 30 days I was in the off-season I took a total of 12 days completely off. Not always in a row. I did yoga, a little running, occasional swims and a few bikes.

Coming to Florida and spending 6 days in the sun, sand and the seashells….. was just what I needed. I reconnected with friends….. put so many faces to names like Joy and Damie ….. and spend time with so many of you. I treasure these things like you would not believe.

Most of all….. I treasure this time with Curt and Luc. There are times when we look past the bonds we have as a family and then there are times like this…. where I hold even tighter. I feel so blessed ion so many ways.

I am signing off until Wednesday….. I promise to post all of the pictures when we get home that day. For now…. I have three more days of training in the sun. I will take a final look at Panama City Beach and I will tuck it away.

Until May.

HOORAY!

Congrats to the Train-This team for enjoying another 100% finisher rate at the Ironman!!! Congrats to first timer Kim Hase who finished in 12:29....... Jay Hollister completed his second Ironman in 13:15...... this father of three (soon to be four) made it through an injury to get there!

And of course, the story of the day that brings tears to my eyes........ CURT.

9:55, 5th in age group and Kona qualifier.

I cried my eyes out and believe me, so did he.

He has decided to decline the Kona spot. He's already done Kona (ho-hum), he PR'd and he's happy. And he's enjoying some heckling from Myself, Marit and Danni to boot!

This morning Danni signs up for the Ironman and I am happy to say..... after an inner fight of all fights, I will not be!

WOOO HOO!

Happy Halloween!

It's the night before Ironman and we are having so much FUN! Panama City Beach in the off-season is the FUN season for spectathletes (thanks Liz for that term!!!!). I have run into so many people..... what a small world. Danni is here as well and Marit arrives tomorrow.

Tonight we forced Curty to go back to the hotel while Luc and I had an entire Go Kart, Haunted House and Golf range to ourselves!

A run on the beach this am..... a swim at the aquatic center...... I may never come home again!

As long as I am with family I swear I can call anyplace home.

His feet are up. He is ready and I am so very excited. It's been a long time since his last Ironman. He's ruled short course and I am crossing my fingers that he hits his potential tomorrow.

Curt is READY!

Ironman Florida 2008 Day One Update

Thanks for all the well wishes..... rememebr CURT is racing.... not I!!!!! WOO HOO!


Funniest statement made while traveling with Luc today: it was made while we were walking through the Atlanta airport. Each time Luc sees a pilot he must approach and say hello. One kind pilot asks Luc "Where are you going today?"

"Starbucks." He answers. "My Mom really likes Starbucks.

Nice.

Arrival in Panama City Beach brought us sunshine. Not too long after we arrived at the hotel we took note.,…. Curt is ready. Silver bracelet is on. Sending him down a day early was a good call. Go Mary!

Soon, for the first time in the four visits I have had in PCB I found myself training… not tapering…. not loosening…. but training. Just a run, an easy run. I was the girl all you Florida Ironman athletes saw smiling and waving at all of you. The obnoxious girl running in her skirt while you were all dressed in arm warmers and mittens. It's 75 degrees people! Yesterday I was dressed in full on winter weather gear!

For the first time in a long time I am at an Ironman race and I am not racing an Ironman. It feels so weird.

This was the reason why I wanted to qualify early for Cheatwater 70.3 2009. (Sorry Rachel… I couldn't resist). If I qualified in Austin, then I would not sign up for Ironman Florida 2009. Really, it was the only way to prevent this from happening.

I have already thought about how it would be possible to do the double. My new coach however thwarted this idea quickly. Genius she is!

This evening we played on the beach and in the ocean. One of my athletes Kim and her boyfriend Jake joined the Eggers family for a round of mini golf. Then another one of my guys, Jay joined us all for some ice cream. It was good to have the peeps together. Everyone is ready. Everyone is ready to go.

Friday is Halloween. Danni and Marit arrive and tomorrow evening we swim in the ocean. We will show up at the Gilmore Girl's Memphis house on surf drive for trick or treats too!

A week of family and friends. Now really, does it get any better than this??????
I will have pictures tomorrow. Internet in PCB seems spotty this weekend! So does cell service. Until then there are bikes to be cleaned, bags to be numbered and memories about to be made. And of course, good scares!

WHY

A few pictures from our Haloween adventures......

And an old post from March 30th 2008 to get us in the Ironman Spirit!

I just took a look at my schedule of training for the week and it thrilled me to the bone. I am well aware to the non Ironman fanatic that this might seem a bit much. Heck, my life to most is a bit much.

But you know what I long for? I long for someone to just get it.

I long for someone to just take it as it is. People believe that I am not able to rest. That I am not able to lie on the couch and watch TV, that I have a complete inability to put my feet up. That my head is swirling a thousand times a minute and I just can not stop.I don't even try to explain it.

This is my life.

This is what I do.

I am an athlete.

I LOVE TO TRAIN.

A 2 hour run for someone who does not train as much as I do is going to sound completely insane. A 2 hour run for someone who has trained 15-20 hours per week for the better part of 10 years, it is a walk in the park. A 2 hour run is not at mach speed. It's at e pace. It's like walking easy for walkers. I can do it when I am sick. I can do it when I am well. Because I am a superstar? No! Because I am accustomed to it. My body is used to it. It does not hurt to run two hours. It used to. It used to hurt a whole heck of a lot.

But fitness is an interesting thing. It is bankable. It is progressive. It has cycles. There are peak weeks and there are recovery weeks where the body absorbs the heavy load. The people who are out there grinding out the same week, same workouts, same intensity all the time without a proper progression are the ones who get hurt, the ones who get burned out and the ones who don't make progress.

I am a thrill seeker.

I love the excitement of the gun firing. I love the energy of running into a shark infested ocean with 2000 people. I love the feeling of jumping on my bike and riding with my heart on the handlebars. It strips away the layers, it strips away my story. It puts me face to face with me.

I love running stride by stride with someone and never saying a word. I love in my yoga practice when I can feel the energy of the people around me. Like our breath is one breath. Like our movements are one movement. Like the joy and the pain and the ups and the downs are combined into one.

It puts me face to face with me. It's not a form of self sabotage. If I can't do it, I don't. It's a form of therapy. I think a bout a lot during these miles. I create during these miles. I spend time with me during these miles. And I dream about a lot during these miles.

So what is my dream? My dream is always the same. The last 30 seconds of every single race. Especially the Ironman. In the Ironman the finish line looks packed with people in stands on either side of me. It's my very own red carpet. I can see the hands waving, I slap hands as I run down the chute, I feel the excitement, I relish in the energy. But each time I hear nothing. And it always happens in slow motion for me. It is my moment of glory. The moment that answers the questions … am I fit enough? Am I strong enough? Do I believe enough in me?

Can I stand on my own feet and can I completely occupy my own skin and love what I feel?

What do I have inside of me and am I willing to be torn completely apart to find out?

Do I have that much courage?

It brings to light the moments during the year of preparation…… the rides in sub zero temperatures, the runs on pure ice. The workouts that have been so hard and so hot that my cloths get strewn all over the lawn and I lay in a bathtub of ice and I love what I feel.What do I feel? The absolute purest most vivid feeling of being alive.

I admit, sometimes people can find that by reading a book. Some people can find that by going for a walk. I can actually do that as well. But nothing, absolutely nothing can make me feel every inch of myself like a finish line.

It's been in the pool, on a bike, and through trails and woods and streets that I have found everything I have needed to find in my life. I have found friends. I have found enemies. I have fallen in love, I have had my heart shattered out here and then I have gotten up and done it all over again. I have found sisters and brothers that I was not born with. I have found solitude and quietness in my brain.

I have dreamt big dreams and I have let go of unfulfilled ones. I have found health and I have even found illness. I have at times tried to outrun illness. And then I have found my way back again.

So this is my life. This is who I am. I am not running away from someone I wanted to be, I am not running towards someone I want to be.

I am not running from a problem or running for an answer.

I am stretching out my arms holding my head back and I am screaming as loud as I can.

I know that makes me scary. I would rather be thought of as someone who frightens people and someone who lives big and someone who is willing to risk her heart, risk her body and risk her soul....Than be thought of someone who had…. potential.

I am not sorry for that.

There are those who can't take it and they run. And there are those who can just take all of me and love me no matter what.NO MATTER WHAT.

I can not remember how the quote goes exactly or who it is by but here is what I truly, absolutely and whole heartedly believe……"When I die I do not wish to arrive at the gates in a pretty white dress with my hair perfect. I wish to skid in by my back wheel, bloodied and bruised to the bone screaming …… WOW……… what a ride."

passage

The off-season has treated me well. Very well. I'm on week #4 and I have done..... a lot of nothing. Few swims, fewer bikes, and I got to start running this week. After the crash..... it's been a long time since I have run. Getting back to it, for a few minutes a day has been wonderful.

Yesterday I graduated from weekly chiropractor visits to bi weekly visits. Dr. Les commended me on my remarkable ability to take an off-season, and to allow things to heal.

Things happen for a reason and I truly hope the badness of 2008 is finally behind me. I feel in so many ways like I have climbed this giant mountain. I have climbed over the mountain. While it didn't seem so ginormous at the time, as I look back..... thing was freaking huge.

And I am not the only one who has endured her fair share of S*** this season. I have been thinking a lot about Elaine (Tri Girl Pink) these past few months. I've never met Elaine.... she's one of my creepy Internet friends. I have certainly never met Margret. But I have prayed for her, for them, for their families and for their pain.

The hardest part is to look at the pictures of Margret..... before she became sick. And that wasn't too long ago. Living the triathlon life, loving her new bike. She sounds just like us. Just like you and me smiling with friends and living it up. Setting goals and dreaming dreams.

When you watch people go through something like this..... it makes you look around and reach out for that squeeze, that hug, those words you never wait until it is too late to say. You really begin to forget about the small stuff.

There are a lot of unkind and negative people in this world. Experiences like this remind you that the evil people in this world.....they are as valuable as my trash.

This morning I assembled my bike after we dropped off Curt at the airport. It's snowing. I began to feel grouchy about the snow. Then I stood outside and let the snowflakes fall on my face. I reminded myself that snow is one of the small things.

And we know not to sweat those.

So Elaine, Margret, and to all of you, please know you are not in the hearts and prayers of so many today..... you have been for a long time. You will be forever. In those moments of desperation, those moments when you think help.... help..... help...... please know that in this instance, help is on the way. All you have to do is reach for it. She's around you. She's not in pain anymore. She's free and I know in my heart that she will be there to help you heal.