Wonderland

I want my son to remember the neat things that we did together. On his 35th birthday I hope he can look back and reflect and laugh about our silly adventures. Silly songs. Silly meals.

Tonight Luc and I went night sledding. Here in Rochester we are blessed to have parks everywhere, suitable for sledding. We have lots of hills around here and I really believe when the designs of all these amazing parks were created, sledding was a priority.

So at 5:30pm we headed over to Mendon Ponds Park with our snowsuits and our sleds. If there was any way I could capture Luc's face as we screamed down hills on our sleds, headlamps on, arms in the air….. I would have. Actually I have it captured, in memory. I hope it is an image that I can pull up when I am an old woman in the nursing home.

The light in his eyes. The thrill in his voice and not a care in the world. That's what he's teaching me.

I missed so many years when I was sick. Years that I spent battling the inner demons of Bulimia, a hell I didn't have the ability to escape. I could have been living those years.

But if I had lived those years would I be battling those demons now? As a mother? In some ways that experience…. I am glad it happened then. It didn't affect my child. And yet it did affect my child. Would I have the ability to live as I do right now? Or would I be fighting a battle that would eventually take my life?

Things happen for a reason. And if this is the second coming of my childhood…. then I am glad it is happening this way.

I have a child who thanks me every single day…. for so many things. For getting him a glass of juice. For taking him sledding. For being a mom. Did I ever thank my mom for being my mom??? And where did he learn that?

I have a child who is full of gratitude. And I don't know how he learned that.

I have a child who sat on Santa's lap yesterday and asked for a train, and said that was all he needed. Then he turned to Santa and asked Santa… what he wanted for Christmas. Santa didn't know what to say.

Neither did I. Has anyone ever asked Santa that?

Later on Luc told me he would like to leave Santa a box of twisty straws on Christmas Eve…. so that when Santa drinks milk at everyone's houses … he has nice straws to drink from. I thought that was a great idea... the truest meaning of Christmas. Free form political correctness, free of judgement, free of everything and preserving one important thing.

Love of the world.

Thanks for stopping by.
:-) Mary