Alter Ego

Surprisingly, many people don't realize that one night a week, for 8 hours I am a Pediatric Emergency Room Nurse, and yes, that's an RN. I have been a nurse for 10 years and I have worked the past 6 in pediatrics. While I love my teaching, business, etc, I stay at the University of Rochester Medical Center (Strong Memorial Hospital) because I love my work with children. And I think it is an important way to give back.

There is a lot of misconception about nurses, doctors and the Emergency Dept in general, so as I am unable to sleep on Tuesdays from 9-1 as I usually do.... since the entire neighborhood is out mowing their lawn... I thought I would smash a few myths for you.

First, it is important for you to know that it is my job to remain the calmest person in the room. It's why you will never see me panic when you rush to our front desk screaming in a panic yourself, about the broken nail that your child has.

It is not that we don't care. Trust me when I say that we have seen it all.

I have met the arms of children before I have met them. Meaning, arm is not attached to the body.

I have delivered babies in bathrooms.

I will assure you that in most cases, puking is not am emergency. Here is a little parental lesson...... every single child in this world will puke. Yes, there is an issue of dehydration. Those children we need to see. But when your little Johnny shows up at our door snacking on Doritos after a night of "vomiting"..... my heart rate is never going to elevate.

You may not specify one of our attending doctors as your primary care physician.

When you tell me you "want the doctor to start your child's IV"... know that I am laughing. Know that the doctor's job is to think, and my job is to get the most impossible IV in the most impossible vein..... and I am good at it. So do yourself a favor, always let a nurse start your IV. (Disclaimer.... sometimes you can get lucky.)

The reason we hold down your flailing child for an IV is so we don't hurt them or us. We are happy they are flailing..... it is the 2 year olds who allow us to poke them that we worry about. Fighting is a good sign.

Our doctors and nurses, as awesome as they are... can not magically cure a virus.

When you see nurses sitting down and charting, we are not being lazy. It is from idiot people in the community who sure the medical profession for stupid things. Those stupid lawsuits cause New York State to mandate every pee, drink and breath be documented. Do that is not my fault and not my rule.

When I walk into your room and you begin to complain to me that you and Johnny have been waiting for "X hours" please understand that I might have just come from a room where a child has died.

When your child is in an accident and in our trauma bay, know how hard we are working.

I can juggle 10 patients, I can get the difficult IV, I can function in the trauma bay with calm and ease. I have held the hand of a dying frightened child more times than I ever care to share. Know that when a child dies, I cry. We take it very personally. Not for our "stats" but because to us the lives of children are our highest priority. Know that when a child dies it never, ever leaves us. EVER.

Thanks for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers