Clearwater

I missed my goal by 10 minutes. The run was horrible. My legs didn't show up. My stomach did. But let me start from the beginning......

In April while we were preparing to compete in the New Orleans 70.3 event, Donna, Amo, Kirsten and I attended a pre race chat with 2007 Ironman World Champion Chris McCormack AKA: Macca. Who incidentally is my Face Book friend. In case you were wondering how tight we were.

Macca has a reputation for being cocky...... so I was intrigued. What would he be like? what would he say? I learned that he is one of the most humble human beings there is. He's honest, which is interpreted as arrogant. Since I invented the school of understanding what it is like to be misunderstood, I knew this would be good.

He made a few points that have stuck with me throughout the season:

1. If you believe in yourself, then you must reach for your goal.

2. Family first.

3. The Macca story isn't as interesting as the Craig Alexander story.

He went on to talk about Crowie, the current Ironman World Champion, one of the few who have defended the title. Crowie .... for years... maybe 10..... in Macca's words "sucked". He was the guy who always finished dead last on the circuit. Apparently people told Macca how great he was and would be...... and those people told Crowie .... dude..... give it up.

Crowie didn't give it up. He finished last. He finished last a lot. He believed in himself and he believed in his potential. He worked and he worked hard.

That race was a turning point for me. It led me to Coach Jesse and the QT2 Team, of which I am incredibly honored to be a part of. I will never forget the email from Coach.... I can help you. Mary Eggers wasn't an athlete he needed. He took me on anyways. My goals were very simple for 2009. I wanted to get back under 5 hours for the 70.3 distance and I needed to solve my nutrition issues.

Both of which we did.

In my heart I am an Ironman athlete and I so desperately don't want to be. It's a drug to me and I feel like I could do several Ironmans each year except that would ruin my family, my marriage and my life.

Some people crave alcohol. I crave the Ironman. There I said it. I love Ironman.

I want to be a 70.3 athlete. I am trying desperately to be. I am getting there. It's better for me.

(even though in 2010 I will be doing Ironman Florida. But let's chat about that later.)

Onto the race.

AT the last minute the swim was changed to the harbor side of Pier 60 and became a time trial start. BEST Decision WTC HAS EVER FREAKING MADE. I knew this would clear up congestion on the bike..... and it did. we simply filed into the water and away we went. A girl was worrying about the swim course behind me. I told her this: I always swim straight, just stay with me.

I don't have to put forth a lot of effort in training to swim well in open water. I swim straight, I swim well..... and I wonder if this is how natural runners feel. It comes naturally. In 2010 I swear I will try more in practice..... I swear I will. I came out of the water in about 30, which is perfect and right on track with the goals Jesse calculated out for me.

Onto the bike I felt great. I was nailing.... and I mean nailing my cadence + heart rate + wattages + nutrition. Jen caught up to me and I smiled. I love riding with Jen. It brought back memories. I decided to keep in contact with her.... we'd have a good ride and we'd ride clean.

Then about mile 35 they came. The men 40-44 and all of their eight billion friends. I got separated from Jen, which in the end separated us by 7 minutes..... just so you can get the idea of how much a peleton can mess up, or help. I don't think they swallowed her up. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU MISINTERPRET THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH AS ME ACCUSING JEN OF DRAFTING.... READ IT AGAIN. THE PELETON OF MEN 40-44 CAME THROUGH AND SEPARATED US. JEN STAYED AHEAD, I FELL INTO AND THEN BEHIND IT. IF I WERE TO ACCUSE SOMEONE OF DRAFTING, I WOULD ACCUSE THEM TO THEIR FACE NOT ON A BLOG. IF I THOUGHT JEN WERE DRAFTING I WOULD HAVE CALLED HER OUT. SHE WAS NOT DRAFTING. I AM OFFENDED BY THOSE WHO BELIEVE I WAS ACCUSING HER OF IT. STOP INVENTING STATEMENTS THAT ARE NOT THERE.

Not wanting to get caught up in the cluster F*CK I dropped back and then realized that I screwed myself. They were passing on the right, on the left, screaming at me in German. I told that particular German guy.... #836....... if you are going to pass, yell on your left. NOT RIGHT.

Tool.

I did the best I could, I was maintaining speed and cadence but obviously watts had dropped. No problem, this will set me up for a good run. I didn't give much energy away to the drafters. I was just once again astounded how blatant it was.

About mile 45 the refs showed up and started to scream at the Peleton. I was riding about 10 yards behind it. They began flashing the red and yellow cards.... finally.

I rode the last 4 miles alone, hitting watts and everything else and nailing nutrition. I was very hopeful to be able to run a 1:43-1:48 today. That was the goal.

The wonderful bike catchers took my bike for me and I ran through transition, grabbed my gear bag hit the tent and quickly changed into my running shoes. Out of the tent my legs felt pretty good.

Until I hit mile 1. Then something happened. I don't know if my wheels came off or what..... but I had nothing but pain in my shins, my knees, my hips. I chalked this up to being in my mind and did my best. I slowed a bit, nutrition was going fine. I knew I hadn't blown my wad on the bike. Trust me I have done that so many times that I invented that feeling. I know that feeling.

My head was there.... my heart was there..... my legs checked out.

Because I didn't start my watch I didn't know my time but I knew if I at least shuffled I could still save sub 5. Now that I am back under I do not want to be back over. I came to this race aiming and ready for a 4:40-4:48. I believe.... nah..... I know that I was prepared for that time.

Jesse is a big numbers guy. One of his slogans is: There is no magic.

The first loop I became very frustrated that my legs felt so awful. I worked for this day. I was ready for this day. Then I remembered...... that I did work for this day. I remembered the goals I set back in April. Sub five and nutrition.

I cycled through all of the things I have learned from the Wizard. Those lessons would get me through this rough patch. My nutrition..... was good, my stomach felt fine. I kept a high cadence, I kept my shoulders down, I thought about his run form instructions. Keep moving forward I told myself.

As I came over the causeway during the first loop part of me wanted to stop. I remembered when I was here in 06 competing the day after my Grandfather died. I puked on this bridge. I was so sad and I had ruined my nutrition again. That day I walked over to my friend Rich and told him I was quitting.

"Get the F**king MEDAL MARY" he had screamed at me, and I think (or embellish) that he may have pushed me back onto the course. I ran with the heaviest heart that day.

I crested the causeway and I thought of my Grandfather. He fought in WWII and he was such an honorable man. I felt like coming back here was important for some reason, for a little closure on that. I felt him nudge me along.

I knew I would persevere. I always do. I am the queen of it. Hit me hard and I hit back harder. I am your prime candidate for either the Amazing Race or Survivor. Knock me down and I get back up every single time. I make the best out of doomsday.

As I continued to crest that hill I looked out over the ocean. There was sun, palm trees and ocean. My heart stopped, my smile grew. This is what I love. Being able to be out here and doing this. So I wasn't having the day I was trained to have. I was still running. I was not puking. I'd still get my sub five hour finish. I had to play the deck I was given.

How many times has Crowie been in this position?

I asked myself three questions:

1. Do you love what you are doing right now? Yes

2. Do you believe in yourself and what your potential is? YES.

3. What do you want to do when you are done? I want to stand in the ocean and drink a giant cup of Starbucks.

I am a simple girl.

I got through that second loop. At times I surged, the legs had checked out. I smiled and I made the best of it. As I came running down that hill for the last time I thought about the year I have ahead of me.

In 3 weeks Jesse will rip me apart from head to toe. Lactate Threshold test, run form, body composition...... the works. I have a lot of work ahead of me that begins Dec 7th. So in a way........ I told myself to enjoy getting through this run.

Because it's the last time I get through a run.

The finish felt sweet. The finish always does. I saw Matt K. and his wife Karen, Chad and his wife Jen..... I learned that our friend Kim had crashed..... my heart sank. That was the last thing Kim needed this year.

I gathered my gear and walked to my hotel (not the Hilton.... you suckers!). At least a million emails awaited me. Pictures of Luc at home making pizza were there. I called Kim, she knows. She was with me when I qualified for this race. She gets it.

I showered. My legs still hurt. Deep down muscle fiber hurt.

I walked / hobbled to Starbucks. Then I went and stood in the ocean.

:-)

I am happy with this race. I am happy with my whole season. I am happy....... period. I got to compete with the World's best. With my friends. In the sun. I have made big gains this season. Gains that are setting me up for a strong 2010.

Crowie had days like this. He had 2 choices..... and look what he chose. I am on the right path. I believe in what I can do more than ever right now. I have absolutely no doubt. It has taken me longer than some. It's not easy for me as it is for others...... but when I am out there it's where I want to be.

When we cross that line in 2010 you will then know. And then you in turn will apply that to your situation. We will get there.

I have overcome so much this season. I have made progress. I have much more to go.

These days I bet Crowie looks back on those days where he had to struggle and fight and just get it done. I might bet money on the fact that he views those days as his most important days.

I have accomplished my 2009 goals. Sub five and nutrition. Now it's time for a 2 week holiday from training. I have a beach to lay on tomorrow.... coffee to drink..... and an Ironman to sherpa next weekend.

I thought I wanted to eat some ice cream and a scone. I walked down Gulf Blvd.... or whatever it is called..... and I came home with a freaking salad. Damn you coach, I thought.