dealing with it

Curt had a rough day at Nationals yesterday, he placed 12th in his age group. In 12 years I can tell you that he's had three bad races:

Ironman Hawaii 99, Ironman Canada 01, and Nationals, yesterday. Once while we were racing in Guelph he crashed his bike very bad, got up, straight end out his handlebars and still made top three, dripping blood onto the street behind him.

He's bummed. He's very bummed. When he said he was 12th I said WHAT???????

In all honesty I have probably messed up more races than I have nailed. It always interests me to see how people handle the bad days when they are so used to the good days. For some it really screws with their psyche, I know it will eat at Curt a bit..... but I know it will fuel his fire.

I began thinking about what might have happened for Curt. He's pretty lean right now, preparing for IMAZ. I believe I measured his body fat to be about 8% (Bastard). Believe it or not, leaner isn't always better, just as too heavy is a problem, too light is a problem as well. That fins balance must be struck. Too lean and you lose power, and I think that's what happened to Curt. Quite possibly he had to ride harder than he perceived and that left him with a strangely slower run. He did mention that the long swim crushed him a bit. Normally a 23 minute swimmer in the Intermediate distance he swam a 33. When you see that on your watch though, you automatically know it's a long swim, you put it behind you and you move on.

It will be interesting to see how he deals with it. He's bummed, there's no question about that. He's a much better athlete than his performance showed, no doubt about that.

When things don't pan out as you want them to, you have a few choices. You quit, you get back up, you learn from them. Some days we quit. Some days we get back up and when we step back from ourselves long enough we learn from the tough days. I have learned the most from the awful days I have had (which is why I am so darn wise!!!) I know all of my bad performances are going to lend themselves to the good performances I am coming upon.

In life we can't take things personally. Many athletes take performances personally like somehow they are a loser if they come in dead last or if they are beaten by a certain person.

Anything can happen on race day. Anything.

In 2001 the year after I had my son I was racing in the elite field at the Subaru Triathlon Series in Canada. Not because I thought I was pro quality, but because I wanted to do that the year after a baby. Just to say I could. I racked my bike between Karen Smyers and Lisa Bentley. On a side not I also was pulling the baby jogger. Karen Smyers smiled at me and said "Now that's cool!" and Lisa Bentley..... sweet as pie.

I wasn't intimidated, I was like "LOOK WHERE I RACKED!!!!". Maybe I should have been more intimidated.

That day I was coming off the bike and I was third... it was Smyers, Bentley and me. The crowd roared, I smiled so big..... I ran as hard as I could and the girls kept passing me. I remember thinking..... I AM BEHIND MY IDOLS.... rather than thinking .... oh my gawd I am getting passed.....

It was just the perspective I happened to have been blessed with these days.

At the end of the day this is still a sport. Even if you are a pro, even if your rent depends on it. There are good reasons for sport in our lives, at least we all think so. It's to learn a lot about yourself, it's to learn how to handle pressure, grace, good days, tough days. It's to learn how to handle disappointment, defeat and victory.

At the end of the day we still have homes and families who love us. Toilets to clean, dogs to feed, homework to help with.

Triathlon helps give my life color. It helps me get out of my own way, it teaches me to never stop reaching and never stop learning.

I'm proud of Curt's 12th place. But I would love him if he were dead last too. What I will once again feel admiration for is how he handles himself, disappointment, and how he shows our son what to do when you have a bad day.

Sport.... is the playground, the training ground, for what we do in our real lives.