desire

If you are looking for the stability ball workout, please see the menu on the right….. we created a link and we will save them as we post a new one weekly. Next week by request we will be posting favorite dry land exercises for swimming! Thanks you for the feedback, I am so glad it was beneficial for you!

I am entering week 3 of running camp. I don't feel like it is this huge undertaking as it sounds…… 30 runs in 30 days….. Coach T had me run so much that 30 days of running in a row….. is just another week.

I'm feeling good. Feeling great. Feeling strange because some of us are coming into our on season, some going into the off-season and then some like one of my athletes Sarah….. still has an Ironman coming up.

It's a bit weird not checking in with a coach. Who looks at my daily log? Who keeps their eye on me? I do. I log in as an athlete and I log in again at the end of the day as my coach. A few hours away from the workouts and I give it a look over just like I do everyone else.

I have also opened up my training log to the Train-This Team. 35 pairs of eyes. Some are new, many have been with me a few years, they are going to keep an eye on me. My way of seeing what they have learned through the years. And my way of keeping myself in check. It's one thing to do something stupid when I am the only one who sees it. It's another thing when my athletes get to see it.

I'm looking forward to 2009, it's a calm feeling of drive and a quiet feeling of hunger. As I lay out my plan for the season and my goals for racing I feel that everything is an opportunity. I look back on 2008 and I can't believe what I have been through. None of the stuff I endured was on the plan. But I overcame it with a lot of fight and I hope a bit of grace.

I watched Clearwater online yesterday. I was at the inaugural race in 2006 and I could tell that the drafting wasn't quite as bad but it still existed. I've done a lot of races with drafters cheating their way to the top. Ironman Florida and my age group last year saw a few. But one in particular.

When you do something like cheat, be it in sport or in life….. it has a way of coming around. Life is circular like that. Like the female professional at 2008 Ironman Florida last week….. she treated the volunteers in T1 horridly. That kind of stuff comes back around. You let it go, and let it work itself out.

I'm not afraid of the drafting at Clearwater 2009. I don't care. All I need to know is that I will be riding clean, just like I always do. When I set my goal for a race like this I set it for time. I don't aim for a podium because I can not control who shows up. Chrissie Wellington could decide to be an age grouper next year, come and rock the field. I can't control that. Nor would I change my training to combat that. I have to train my way for my race. Not her way for her race.

I can't control who shows up. I can control my pace and how I race these events. I can't control people who cheat by drafting. I can control how I react to it. I can allow my energy get sucked into their race. Or I can let that go, let karma take care of it, and focus on myself and my race.

Each race I do I race with integrity. I can't force someone else to do the same but at the end of the day I can feel good about what I have chosen whether or not I stand on a podium or not.

When I die no one is going to give a rats ass how many podiums I have stood on or how many medals I have won. But someone somewhere might have been touched in a positive way because I thanked them for handing me a water bottle. Someone might have been less inclined to snap at a volunteer because they heard me say thank you.

Does that mean I will stop aiming for the top?

Absolutely not.

Especially in 2009 I will aim for the top. I firmly believe, I always will, that one of these days the good guys will win. The drafters will all get DQ'd or maybe the race director will finally create a wave system on a hillier course that makes a difference. Maybe someday cheating will lose its appeal.

So I shall move forward with this hunger, with this drive, with this desire to tackle, to reach, to be the best that I can possibly be. To bury myself, to bury the pain, to unlock the passion, to meet my potential.

That's what I am taking aim for.