Tuesday, November 18, 2008

spike

I would like you to know that Spike is the perfect name for a girl. Did you know that my middle name is Michal (pronounced as the boys name Michael) and I was called Michael until I started doing triathlons? They kept entering me in the men's division, it became a big pain in the ass, I finally started entering as Mary and then I met a whole new group of people who called me Mary.

I like to tell my high school friends I am in the witness protection program.

I have some very serious concerns about my husband…. whom we affectionately call The Man around here. It began last week when he decided he will go grab an IMFL 09 spot at Muskoka (June). It continues this morning when he set the paper in front of me and asked me to inquire about a Chocolate Lab Puppy for Luc for Christmas. A girl dog.

For the better part of 2 years I have been searching for the perfect dog. Until this morning I had my heart set on a French Bulldog. In my dog dream I pictured my little bulldog named Spike, he would have a spike collar and he would be my friend and my protector. I would teach him to snarl at people who talked to me on the street. Beyond that snarl he'd be a nice dog. He'd sit at my feet and he'd be cute.

He'd be my little buddy. My little friend. My protector. I have a wild son; I don't need a wild dog. I run with myself, I don't need a dog to run with. Mine all mine he would be…..

Notsomuch.

Apparently this dog needs to be for Luc. SIGH.

Curt has decided that Luc needs a dog since we can't give him a sibling. Something to be responsible for, clean up after and the list goes on. A Chocolate Lab would be perfect because the dog could play, run and swim.

Who is going to train this dog? Oh right….. that'd likely be…… ME.

So I have declared that this dog's name will be Spike. I want a boy dog because girls and hormones make me uncomfortable. (That's why God gave me a son). If I had to be subjected to having a boy's name all my life than so will girl Spike. I turned out just fine (enough….. enough!) and so will she. It will make her tough.

Now this is all still in the inquiry stages. Nothing is set in stone, and contact hasn't even officially been made.

I once had a dog in college; it was actually my roommate's dog. This dog had serious psychological issues (of course it is fate that I would end up living with a dog like that). It wore a cone and it had to wear mittens due to obsessive licking of its paws.

I shall keep you updated, and Luc has no clue. Santa will hopefully be bringing a dog for Christmas.


I thought I had the Trump Card when I bought the Wii (hidden….. hidden…..). Am I a bad person for secretly bringing out the Wii when no one is home and practicing as Guitar Hero?

9 comments:

BriGaal said...

Have you read Marley & Me? A must read if you're getting a lab! My sister has a yellow and my grandma had a chocolate. The chocolate was a great dog and lived a very happy life, after she made it past 2 years old - prior to that I thought my dear, sweet, dog-loving grandma was going to kill her on several occasions. :)

Laura said...

LOL about Guitar Hero!

I love the name Spike, even for a girl dog! My next dog is going to be Carmelo no matter what the sex.

Any chance I can convince you to get a dog from a rescue group or a shelter? :)

Damie said...

you will LOVE having a dog. they are the best part of my morning and the best part of my goodnight kisses. They are staring at me right now, actually. And, tell Curt too that there are all kinds of pure breed lab rescues, so he could find a great pup there, too, and really save the life of one if he is interested (I know I am shoving my own agenda in here). Yea, Spike! Now Spike can come play with Roo, Cayenne, Belle (Eileen) and Latte (Laura!)

Molly said...

Ha! My first dog was a golden retriever bitch named Phil :) Spike sounds like a fine name!

Pedergraham said...

All I have to say is that if Luc gets a dog for Christmas, I can't wait to see a picture of his face when he "opens" that present because it will be amazing!

cat. said...

on the heels of yesterday's post ... NOTHING says christmas like a chocolate lab puppy with a big old red bow around it's neck and given to an 8 year old boy.

"we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we WISH you a merry christmas and a happy dog's life!!!"

: ) cat.

Trigirlpink said...

Oh I can't wait for Spike to join your family!!! Fun fun!!!! I had to laugh at bringing out the Wii and using it before giving it. This is worse: Woman here at work knows where her husband HIDES her xmas gifts. (in the rolling tool cart in the garage) SHE goes out there to check and see if the Garmin street navigator is in one of the drawers she wanted last year AND THEN TAKES IT AND USES IT on a car trip then PUTS IT BACK and tries to act surprised when she opened it xmas day. too funny...

Ryan said...

Did you buy the carbon fiber guitar?

Tell "the man" to not be a hater for those of us not follically challenged. Ironman Bros can differ up there!

rr said...

The Wii makes my life happy. Even when it's just me playing.

He'll love the dog. And you never know how your family may grow..

And I must tell you this: Sawyer is my neighbor. I say hi to him at Longs, at Safeway, and most recently, at the frame shop. I run by his house regularly, but not in a stalkery way. He's very nice. Come over and we'll go running.