back into the swim of things

In an hour I am going to slide into a pool with my Masters team and I am going to swim my heart out in whatever set we have on tap. Likely it will not be torturous as the first week never is. Some of us haven't seen each other since the summer, some of us have never stopped seeing each other. I have been swimming with this team going on nine years and these practices bring so much to my life.

In our lane we are all pretty close. We don't go out to breakfast or talk on the phone but we get each other and we understand each other. Especially my friends Kim and Ken. I know that I can count on these two the next few weeks to get me where I need to be for Clearwater. With these guys there just is no bullshit, it's the kind of friendships that come easy. Maybe it's our age or our life experience or the fact that we share a passion for something..... in the grand scheme of things triathlon is pretty trivial..... but in our grand scheme of things it balances us out and is therefore not so trivial.

As we approach Clearwater I was recently asked what my goal was there. The Wizard and I have a time goal in mind, because time is what I can control. I don't know what placing that will give me and frankly I don't really care. I don't care that the field will be drafting, in fact I won't even care if you draft off of me. I won't be drafting..... well that's what I am hoping..... if you have ever done that race you know that this course is dangerous when you are an age grouper. If you are put into a drafting situation...... moving to your right may mean moving into a highway full of cars who hate you, moving left will mean there are four cyclists next to you, moving forward or behind will be blocked by sixty cyclists either way.

My plan is to just deal with whatever the situation is and not give any energy away. If you want to sit on my wheel that's your decision, my energy will be focused forward, I won't waste energy getting irritated at you..... that act will speak for itself and doesn't need my judgement. If you want to draft me on the swim I won't kick you, and I swim straight so hop the heck on.

I will not be there for you I will be there for me. This race will be between me, myself and I.

One year ago I was recovering from a miscarriage, a grade 3 concussion and a bike crash. Throw in a few other health issues and you understand how difficult last year was. My sport helped me to recover, my life and my health were the forefront. When I raced Clearwater in 2006, I found out my grandfather had died the night before and I spent the run course throwing up.

I didn't think his death impacted my race so much....... but when someone who has been in your life for 30+ years is suddenly taken from you..... it affects you.

When I get to Clearwater I am partly racing as a redo for my Grandfather and I.

I am racing to celebrate the long recovery I made from 2008 in terms of my health.

I am cherishing the opportunity to be there.

I am culminating the weeks and weeks that I have been fortunate to work with The Wizard and QT2, who have brought me back and are bringing me to a place I have only dreamt of. I have been working hard...... and the beautiful thing about hard work is the results it awards you.

There is a female in upstate NY who has been rumored to have been taking performance enhancing drugs as she prepares for a long distance event. The sad thing is that people expected it out of her. It might explain her behavior but..... how do you stand on top of a podium if that's the way you got there? I'd rather bust my ass off and not be on the podium at all. To me winning at all costs, like Nina Kraft said when she cheated her way to Hawaii..... it's an empty victory. When I hear of stuff like this I shake my head. Is that the way to set an example? It just shows that you are hollow inside and the only way to fill that space is to win at all costs. What kind of filler is that?

I will be in Clearwater to execute the plan I have been working towards. I will be in Clearwater with some of the most beautiful people that I know. There will be friends and laughter and I might be the most lighthearted girl out there that day.

It's the World Chhampionship .... but I don't' get intimidated by that. Sure it's the best of the best (who choose to and can afford to go)...... but it's a race. It's a race with a start and a finish and a journey between those two points.

For me that journey has been bumpy and long and it's just like life. We roll with the punches, we ride the waves and we keep moving forward with a smile.

Ahhhh.... it's about time to get my suit on and go swim with my friends. I will get about a thousand snarky emails if I miss a day..... thank goodness!

So here's to life, here's to making it through.... here's to good friends and a beach party in November...... I'll meet you at Pier 60!