Monday, October 1, 2007

My Life As A Yogi

I am a yoga teacher, which really means I am a student of yoga. Which really seems to stun people. Why? That's the interesting part.

Seems we are not past the days of judging a book by its cover, or in my case, an athlete by their race results.

A few weeks ago a woman brought her child into the emergency dept where I am a nurse. That evening I was the triage nurse, meaning I am the first one you see.

"YOU ARE MARY EGGERS!!!" She cried. Let's just never mind that your son's hand is grotesquely bleeding. Because we are now instant friends... apparently. I admit, yes I am as I continue to tend to the child.

"I have seen your results and all your articles in the paper." She tells me. I am able to turn her attention back to the matter at hand (literally). A while later she notices my necklace. "That's the OM symbol." Again I agree with her. "Do you practice yoga?"

"She teaches it too!" chimes in another nurse. In my head I groan.

"YOU teach YOGA?" She gasps. I look at her. Where is this going? "I just didn't think you would be the type to understand what yoga is."

"Do you practice?" I asked her.

"Oh no...." She admits.... "But you just don't seem like the type. I mean from your race results and all."

"So you created a picture of me based on race results." I concluded to her. And at that moment I stopped the conversation, checking her child into a room to be taken care of. Shaking my head I left the room.

"Why didn't you defend yourself? ' my colleague asked me.

"Because she created a story and a picture of me based on numbers in a newspaper." I explained. "That's her stuff, not mine. Besides, she put a lot of work into that. Don't want to mess that up!"

Believe it or not, that's not the first or last time that has happened to me. Just this past weekend I heard a comment. A girl couldn't imagine me teaching or understanding yoga. Impossible!

It all makes me laugh. If those are the opinions and conclusions you have about me, keep them. That's your stuff, not mine.

The true Yogi, the one who truly is invested in the practice... would never elevate themselves as an elitist. They'd never put themselves in a class above another based on the style, the teacher, and especially the flexibility. And they would especially never judge. Especially they would never judge as these people had done me.

The truth of the matter is... you can't judge my class until you show up. You can't theorize what goes on within those four walls. You can't place a judgement or opinion on how I teach or what kind of yogi I am... by race results.

If you are dying to know what it is like. Just show up.

But I will tell you this. The tag line my yoga studio lives by is "leave your expectations behind, and bring your spirit." That's exactly what I did seven years ago and that's why I practice yoga.

I came to yoga for flexibility, and what I found was so much more. I learned how to be present within my life, within my body. I learned to let go of things. I learned to clear the static in the attic of my head. I learned that where we go.... ego.

I learned that we all have a story about ourselves, and that story often times is crap. And I learned that people will take the time, like the previously mentioned people did.... to invent a story about me. And that is crap too.

Yoga is very little about touching your toes to your knees. Every posture, every asana reveals a picture about us. You learn to first see your body then your life differently. The mental chatter, the thoughts that bounce off the walls in your mind......

THEY STOP.

I don't care what poses you are "good" at or not. I don't care if you stand on your head, know Sanskrit or even understand what Namaste means. The truth is that you can not be bad at yoga, you can not fail at yoga.

What you can do is fail to give yourself the chance for a better way of living.

How can that be done through yoga?

The only way I can explain it is this;

Typically we find yoga for the physical. Because we have tight hamstrings. Because we have a bad lower back. Because we should.

The beginning of your yogic journey is about the poses. Naturally. What's Warrior I, what's Utkatansana (what the hell does that even mean?). How's my alignment? Oh, look at yoga girl over there... she's so flexible.... I can't believe that guy is doing yoga in those shorts........ I want to do a headstand, then I'd arrive.

I love to watch people then make the shift. If they are consistent with their practice, it just happens. They get the breath. They have that class where they don't do anything differently except get the breath. Their entire demeanor changes. You cans see the mental chatter melt. You can feel the stuff in their bag of stuff..... drop. They stop looking around at the other people in the room. You can see they've found their Drishti. Their inner Drishti.

And it's beautiful.

It does not matter if they ever stand on their heads. It does not matter if they ever touch their toes. But they got it.

They got that yoga is not what they thought it was. Here is finally a place where the I am better than you attitude.... just does not exist. That's why Breathe is such a beautiful place.

It doesn't matter who goes there. Although people who don't..... routinely talk about who does. (interesting). I have practiced next to people of all walks of life, and to me what matters is that we are community. We are one people one breath.

If you are looking for the "true yogi"..... who would that be?

It can be Baron Baptiste Himself, Anna Forest. It can be a soccer player, a former dancer. And guess what? It can absolutely be a Triathlete.

What I bring to my practice and my classes... it's personal. I am very honored that anyone would take valuable time out of their life.... to create a story about me, and what they think I must be like. It's too bad however... that's wasted time. That's time better spent looking in their own mirror and finding their own truths.

If you are really that interested in knowing..... come to class. Just remember one thing....

leave your expectations behind.... and bring your spirit.

Thanks for stopping by.

:-) Mary Eggers

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