Intention

Thank you so very much to all of you who emailed me over the last few days about the "My Choice" entry. If you didn't see it, it was a bit about my eating disorder and the 13 year recovery I am blessed to call my own. It never ceases to amaze me just how many of us are affected my EDO's, and it always comforts me more than anything to know... that we can at least reach out to one another. I am very honored to have made some very beautiful friends through writing, and even more honored that those of you who are affected by this disease would choose to reach out to me. Together I say.... is the best way to be.

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Today I set an intention as I dipped into the water at Masters practice. It was 5:45 am and I looked at the pool filled with swimmers, and I looked at my lanemates. It's amazing to me, we have swum together for years. Shared very difficult sets, moments. We have laughed very hard at very stupid things. We have just swum quietly together in times of grief.

When you share yards, miles, or even miles per hour together you become family in many ways. One year ago I became part of the Stud lane. One year ago it was my intention to just live through it. And that I did. Ken, Bill, Eric, Les... they all lapped me. And they lapped me a lot. In many ways I was just a reflection of the swimming talent that I have. That I spent 12,000 yards a day in college learning how to shine.

When you evolve into multisport, those pure runners have to let go of some of those fast 5k times just as we swimmers need to let go of the good old college days. When 200's were swum on 2:20. When 100's were done on the minute. When the workout entailed 12,000 yards a day.

I am lucky to average 10,000 yards a week now. And that's a good week.

So this morning when I swam behind Bill who was behind Ken I set the intention. No longer would I just survive this lane. One morning I am going to lead a set this season. I don't believe that improvement to my swim requires more time. It requires more effort within the time I swim. Rather than hang on.... I will take aim. I will swim next to Bill in lane 1 and as long as it is not breast stroke... I will stay right with him.

I will not get lapped. At least for a 500 :-)

This morning I was able to set the tone. I made all of the intervals, I did not get lapped (okay so we did swim 20 X 25's.........) I didn't die. I wasn't even close.

Which goes to show what you can achieve when you set your mind to it. When you set a goal and expect nothing else than 100% of yourself. When you finally allow yourself to show up.

I saw Ken getting closer but I did not let him lap me. When Bill M. pushed off the wall I gave him 2 seconds and I stayed closer. For a whole 50 I even stayed in his bubbles.

And it felt good. I know I have more to give. I have much more to give. It begins with stripping down the walls that hold be back from reaching, from being, and from taking aim.

Thank you for stopping by.

:-) Mary