I Have Those Days Too......
For some reason it is a surprise to people when I have bad days, miss workouts, get upset over training. So I write this to let you know that I have those bad days too.
It started off at 0430 as I awoke to teach yoga. I realized that my next sleep in day would be on Saturday January 27th, and with that thought I should have known right then and there that this would be one of those days. No No No I had told Doug at the beginning of the week, as this was supposed to be a recovery week for me let me build one more week, I want a three week build. Isn't it funny how we hire coaches and then rule against them?
I stepped on the scale this morning to see that I am up a pound since last week. How could this be???? I stepped off, then on again. My mood swirled down the toilet. A 15 hour training week, and perfect nutrition, and I GAINED a pound?????? Now if this was any of my athletes were writing to me about this here is what I'd say:
1. There will be fluctuations in weight, when we are losing and when we are gaining.
2. This could be just fluid
3. My clothes are fitting better, I am feeling lighter, wait till next week and then see.
It then frightened me that my mood was dictated by a number on the scale. For those of you who don't know I am 13 years a recovered Bulimic, but times like this I fear I might slip back into those deathly habits.
So I taught my class and returned home, sad that I missed Luc getting on the bus.
Then I set myself up for my four hour ride. Notice it is 10am and I am not on the bike. Today I lasted an hour. And I got off. I hate when my coach is right. Thoughts about regular life kept creeping into my mind..... the messy house, the four baskets of laundry to fold (and it is 100% MINE), the programs I want to get done before tonight, the workshop on Sunday, the house is a mess, I am really tired, the furniture being delivered at noon...... Luc's being transferred to a different school next year....... when will the computrainer arrive.... why is Coach Troy continually reminding me on this damn Spinerval tape that there are three hours to go?
I stopped pedaling.
Get off the bike Mary.
But I had a whole day off on Tuesday.
Get off the bike Mary, it's not meant to be today. You just rode an hour and will do strength, it isn't a day off.
But.... But.....
Get off the bike mary.
But Curt wouldn't get off the bike.
Curt's not doing an Ironman. He's not doing 2 Ironmans. He's not doing 2 half Ironmans and THEN 2 Ironmans. Get off the damn bike! And by the way this was YOUR idea Mary!
I got off the bike. It's a busy place this mind of mine.
And then I began to laugh. This all started over one pound. It isn't like I just learned I have cancer, it isn't like something actually worth anything just happened to me. It reminded me I need to lighten up. It's one day, one pound, one workout. I can pretty much guarantee that on July 22nd, this day will be a long ago memory, this workout forgotten. Big deal.
So I contact my coach and tell him I hate when he is right. I freaking hate it. I want to be that girl who is 10 feet tall and bulletproof. I want to be stronger than anything in the world. But to be stronger I need to know when to be weaker. And this is a sport, this isn't rocket science. This is a privilege not a right of passage.
It is just one small day.
So I will concede to use this time for the things that occupied my mind instead of my ride. And I will re plan the remainder of the week to include that damn rest thing. It would be what I would plan for all of my athletes.
So it is off to create programs, surprise my husband by folding my laundry, await the recliner ... and get some rest. It just feels so darn strange, physically I feel amazing. The space between my ears however, feels tired.
Because at 2pm I need to be ready, my darling little man will come bounding off of the bus by himself, ready for hours of sledding at Mendon Ponds Park. You know when you are old when you buy one of those humongous inflatable sleds because the plastic is hard on your back as you fly down those hills.
Update: The funniest thing about this whole episode, is that today, the day after I was four pounds lighter!
:-) Mary Eggers
It started off at 0430 as I awoke to teach yoga. I realized that my next sleep in day would be on Saturday January 27th, and with that thought I should have known right then and there that this would be one of those days. No No No I had told Doug at the beginning of the week, as this was supposed to be a recovery week for me let me build one more week, I want a three week build. Isn't it funny how we hire coaches and then rule against them?
I stepped on the scale this morning to see that I am up a pound since last week. How could this be???? I stepped off, then on again. My mood swirled down the toilet. A 15 hour training week, and perfect nutrition, and I GAINED a pound?????? Now if this was any of my athletes were writing to me about this here is what I'd say:
1. There will be fluctuations in weight, when we are losing and when we are gaining.
2. This could be just fluid
3. My clothes are fitting better, I am feeling lighter, wait till next week and then see.
It then frightened me that my mood was dictated by a number on the scale. For those of you who don't know I am 13 years a recovered Bulimic, but times like this I fear I might slip back into those deathly habits.
So I taught my class and returned home, sad that I missed Luc getting on the bus.
Then I set myself up for my four hour ride. Notice it is 10am and I am not on the bike. Today I lasted an hour. And I got off. I hate when my coach is right. Thoughts about regular life kept creeping into my mind..... the messy house, the four baskets of laundry to fold (and it is 100% MINE), the programs I want to get done before tonight, the workshop on Sunday, the house is a mess, I am really tired, the furniture being delivered at noon...... Luc's being transferred to a different school next year....... when will the computrainer arrive.... why is Coach Troy continually reminding me on this damn Spinerval tape that there are three hours to go?
I stopped pedaling.
Get off the bike Mary.
But I had a whole day off on Tuesday.
Get off the bike Mary, it's not meant to be today. You just rode an hour and will do strength, it isn't a day off.
But.... But.....
Get off the bike mary.
But Curt wouldn't get off the bike.
Curt's not doing an Ironman. He's not doing 2 Ironmans. He's not doing 2 half Ironmans and THEN 2 Ironmans. Get off the damn bike! And by the way this was YOUR idea Mary!
I got off the bike. It's a busy place this mind of mine.
And then I began to laugh. This all started over one pound. It isn't like I just learned I have cancer, it isn't like something actually worth anything just happened to me. It reminded me I need to lighten up. It's one day, one pound, one workout. I can pretty much guarantee that on July 22nd, this day will be a long ago memory, this workout forgotten. Big deal.
So I contact my coach and tell him I hate when he is right. I freaking hate it. I want to be that girl who is 10 feet tall and bulletproof. I want to be stronger than anything in the world. But to be stronger I need to know when to be weaker. And this is a sport, this isn't rocket science. This is a privilege not a right of passage.
It is just one small day.
So I will concede to use this time for the things that occupied my mind instead of my ride. And I will re plan the remainder of the week to include that damn rest thing. It would be what I would plan for all of my athletes.
So it is off to create programs, surprise my husband by folding my laundry, await the recliner ... and get some rest. It just feels so darn strange, physically I feel amazing. The space between my ears however, feels tired.
Because at 2pm I need to be ready, my darling little man will come bounding off of the bus by himself, ready for hours of sledding at Mendon Ponds Park. You know when you are old when you buy one of those humongous inflatable sleds because the plastic is hard on your back as you fly down those hills.
Update: The funniest thing about this whole episode, is that today, the day after I was four pounds lighter!
:-) Mary Eggers
1 comment:
Oh man, Mary!! We ALL have those days...and if someone doesn't, they are lying! Today I am OK, but the twins are 5 today, birthday parties galore, their party tomorrow....presents, food and all need to be bought and wrapped. I have a 3.5 hour brick tomorrow...blah,blah,.....so, sometimes we just have to chalk it up as a "mental health day!"....hang in there! :) Jen Harrison
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